Hello, everyone!Ok, yes, I'm about six months late with my yearly update, but hey, at least it's not the end of the year!
I'm writing to you now in a house a block from the beach where I live with the bf and roommates. There's an Anthropologie candle wafting sweet overpriced glory into the air, and I admit that I'm feeling a bit cluttered these days with our 600+ books, more luggage and backpacks than we know what to do with, clothes that need to be washed, and a few boxes of my college notebooks and pictures I have no idea where to put. I'm currently re-reading "Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair" by Pablo Neruda, I'm debating reading "How Google Works" for work, and I want to re-pick up "All Quiet on the Western Front" from my mom's house.
On to the update. As I'm sitting here listening to "Cigarette Day Dreams" by Cage the Elephant and Ben Gibbard's NPR acoustic set from 2007, I suppose I could start with my day.
I was at the car dealership most of the morning and afternoon getting a part fixed. In many ways, I was grateful for the break. Work has had me so brilliantly tangled up that I've had little time for any side projects. Today, I finally got some ideas together to submit to BuzzFeed, Thought Catalog, and Bustle. I also watched the "Black Space" video by Taylor Swift about four times in a row and looked up a new bed set from Anthopologie (clearly, I was there yesterday doing some Christmas shopping). Once my car was done, I headed home only to find that my steering wheel would vibrate. I took it back and the bf swooped in to give me a ride home--and bring me In-N-Out. What's love? It's not a knight on a white horse; it's a man in an SVU bringing you a cheeseburger well done with spread and lettuce only.
Which brings me to here. A quiet night, recounting my third year post-college graduation.
When I last left you, I was training my new writer and listening to a ton of Of Monsters and Men. A year plus later, I'm actually at a completely different company and listening to a ton of acoustic sessions from Of Monsters and Men. A few weeks after my last post, I sent out a flurry of resumes, and I'm so very lucky that a co-worker helped me find the job I have now.
I definitely had some pros and cons about working for a start-up with only six people in a small rented room, but a year and two months (and about 15 more employees later), I'm so very glad I took the leap. Which isn't to say there aren't growing pains; there are still several of those.In essence, I'm a writer and editor for an online marketing agency. We represent one of the largest travel brands in the world, as well as one of the largest computer companies in the world. Most of my hours are spent on the travel site, and I have a weekly byline where I get to talk about everything from visiting "Harry Potter" film sites in the U.K. to tips on exploring legalized marijuana states. It's a great gig.
Mostly, I love the self-dubbed "squad of sisters" group of writers. From them, I have learned incredible pose and professionalism, humor and ambition, honed creativity and a deep-seated awareness of what it means to be a 20-something female writer in 2014. We also have a cool office, complete with cheese days, dog Fridays, and lots of snacks. As far as hiccups go, it really boils down to perception issues. For instance, us writers were called out for "leaving early" after an 8+ hour day. Everyone else was doing 8+, but because they got in later and left later, it looked skewed. Now us writers work 9+ hours while most do 8. And in some ways I don't mind it. This is the first job where I've actively tried to move up, tried to impress. When I think of that shitty hotel job and how I hated it so much I wouldn't brush my hair some days....
Right now I'm struggling with my one-year review limbo. I came in very prepared with notes on my projects and concrete numbers of my performance, as well as ideas for company and personal growth. They were quite impressed. But when I brought up salary negotiations, it was pushed to the next week. Then the next. Then the next. Then we had a meeting and I was given six challenges to do by January and then we'll talk. The main issue is my speed, which I understand. Though I'm literally 100% faster than day one. So...obviously this limbo is frustrating and I wish I just got a raise or not, a promotion or not, and not have this nebulous unknown over my head during the holidays.As far as other fronts go, life has been good. The bf and I will be celebrating our 8th anniversary in January. I really think it's been one of our best years. He sold his business in March and decided to take a long sabbatical. With the cash, we opted to keep the open room for guests during the summer instead of getting a new roommate. It was so nice to return the favor of friends who've opened their own doors to us in the past. He also took me to Hawaii for my birthday! We had never been to the Big Island before. Favorite memory: Waking up in the luxurious bed and breakfast cabin in the rain forest to the sound of soft morning rain and seeing the greenery lush and full outside the windows.
The bf got quite a bit of heat for taking so much time off, and even I was concerned of him going broke like our rough patch my first year post-college. This time around, it was actually really nice. It was quite cool coming home to someone genuinely excited to see me. Nearly every night we'd go for an hour-long walk along the pier or through town, and make a stop at this hipster bar to order tacos with the occasional pale ale and cosmo. We're big talkers, and conversations routinely fall to politics. There are few days when Hillary Clinton running for president or marijuana legalization doesn't come up. Eight years later and conversation has never run out. One thing that so pierced my heart was watching him fix up his resume and apply to new jobs. Just fucking pierced my heart. Here is someone who is a former business owner, with years of research and experience, who has been to conference after conference, who has more passion about the industry than anyone I've ever met...and here he is applying for some job that has zero relation to his passion because some low-voter turnout city council people passed further restrictions and sent out police raids. Never mind it's been legal since 1996.
But yes, he's working in solar now and liking the challenge. He's learning new skills, which will help him down the road, and I can tell he's enjoying the paycheck along with the camaraderie.
Finally, I really do need to thank him for helping me so much this year, especially with work. When you come home to a former business owner, there's a depth to work questions and sense of challenge when I look at my own career.
Well, let's take a look at my old goals during my first year post-college and see how they're going:
--Get a job. Preferably a good one. Yes, I would say I accomplished this. As I said, I work as a writer and editor for an online marketing agency.
--Live in a cool house. Still living in a house a block from the beach.
--Eat things besides Mac and Cheese and pizza. Still working on this one. I definitely cook more, though not as much as I should. At this point, I will say I'm pretty decent at a few dishes, such as bangers and mash, baked ziti, and chicken chowder.
--Do yoga at least twice a week. Yeah, nope.
--Jog a few times a week. Nope, nope. These days I try to go for a 30 minute-to-an-hour walk every day.
--Make a financial investment. This one has certainly been on my mind lately. I still don't quite have enough in my savings to migrate some of it into an investment, but within the next 2-3 years, I think it's more of a possibility.
--Have better style. You know, I have improved on this front. I have a burgeoning collection of work clothes and a decent amount of winter sweaters. Still, I could use more help with this. It's mainly due to size. XS isn't always XS everywhere.
--A year from now, be able to be proud of something I've made and become. I'm quite proud of having a weekly byline on a major travel site and while I've neglected it, I did create my own San Diego website I'm proud about. In the next six months, I would love to have a personal website up and running, with at least six different publications venues to my name.
--Make friends. This has been one of the biggest themes of the year. A year and a half ago, things were more abstract, with a few happy hour nights here and there. Since then, I've made friends I go to brunch with, friends I host parties with, friends I'll catch movies with, and friends I can dissect the day with. That being said, I have a few theories on the topic:
(1) The biggest thing I noticed this year was the fallacy of "It's Too Hard to Make Friends." You know what's hard about it? Aloofness--not opportunity. When your co-worker says, "There's this happy hour I've been meaning to try," that could mean, "Do you want to go with me?" When your roommate says that she too has always wanted to check out this spot in town, that's asking "Hey, let's go together?" How many opportunities have I missed by not paying attention to these fledgling invitations? Likewise, it can get frustrating when you do offer ideas and they're not taken up. If I say we should see a movie or try out that hipster place, I really do want to go with you.
(b) A good friend is one who reschedules. Can't make it tonight? Offer a different time. Can't call back? Call back tomorrow. Can't text at the moment? Wait for a good time. And I'm certainly guilty of this, too. The idea is that your friend is important enough to reschedule. This goes for old friends too. It's so important just to make a little bit of effort now and then. My grandma still has friends from 70 years ago, and let me say this: "Do you remember when..." is something you cannot buy and you cannot replicate.So my friend goal in finishing this second half of Year 3 is to be more open. Make new friends, connect with old ones, and continue to hang out with people when I can.
Well, I better wrap this thing up. What are some of the biggest take-aways I've learned in my 3rd year post-college?
(1) Be nice to everyone. Seriously. San Diego and the world is so small, you just never know. For instance, my co-worker's roommate went to my same high school and worked at the same Starbucks as me in a town that's 8 hours away (granted, 4 years later). I also think back about my slightly terse writer who was two decades older than me. We ended up getting along well, and later I found out how experienced he was and the great insight he had to share. You just never know the impression you leave behind, and you don't know who you might run into again in the future. It's a bit Victorian, but reputation is important. And really, any friendship, any opportunity, any invitation is so rooted in a simple "Hey, how's it going?" and honestly caring about the answer.
(2) No one is successful only working 40 hours a week. The bf told me this during the "leave early" situation, but I think it can apply for careers as a whole. My raise is in limbo, so I obviously can't speak for my current job. That said, every greater step has involved doing extra. Whether it's a side project or freelance work or another internship, doing the usual usually doesn't get you very far if you're an ambitious person.(3) Unfairness is very real--especially in business. When I'm around college people I'm reminded of the black and white absoluteness of thinking. The latest idea I heard was that if you have a good education and work hard, you will get better company benefits. Well let me tell you, X+X doesn't always equal Y. Or rather, Y isn't always fair for what you deserve.
You can get the most sign-ups, the most sell-outs, and if your boss doesn't like you because you're skinnier and younger, you're still going to get the shittest shifts. You can get promoted to do the exact same job as the person before you, but when your boss presents you a pay cut (despite you protesting) you'll still accept the wage because you need the job. You can have the most innovative ideas, but if you try to take them directly to the head boss, your manager will chew you out for going over her head. And this paragraph is not a permission slip to excuse us from trying, but it is acknowledgment that the law and order of school life is not the same as the real world.
(4) Kindness is real. I've been so lucky to experience kindness. Any time an old friend has given me a place to crash in a city, any time a neighbor or roommate has brought me food, any time our parents have stocked our fridge, any time someone has given me a discount on car work or given me the small soda for free; all of these instances remind me of the kindness that exists out there.(5) I'm planning on writing a blog about 'I'm 26 and What Does that Mean?' Here's what I've thought about the twenties:
20--A rather boring number. Not much is new.
21--An amazing time. Seriously, 21 is all about jello shots, pole dancing, parties that last until 5am, hooking up in hidden nooks of campus, and roommates who make margaritas between classes.
22--Largely anti-climatic. In my experience, friend groups are hard to keep together, and I spent most of the year working extra hours and finishing up classes.
23--You graduate and then you fall off a cliff into what-do-I-do-now. Most of 23 was documented in this blog. I did a publishing internship that largely went nowhere, I was living in a house with five weird roommates, and I was working for this terrible hotel company, feeling like a failure.
24--The year when things started falling into place. I became a professional writer and started to make friends in San Diego. I also went on a cross-country trip and moved in with the bf.
25--A solid year. I finally became a professional editor, I got the job I have now, which pays me more than my previous job, and went on a few more trips; this time to Vancouver and Seattle.
26--This year has been about furthering all the good stuff of 25. Obviously I'm still working on the raise at work, though I do have a byline. I also built my own travel website and have some freelance articles in the works. I feel like I keep building, building, building, but to what end I don't know. What I do know is that it's important to continue to build for new levels to come.
So to summarize year three: It's been a good year. A productive year. A year of politics over carnitas tacos, friendship over lemon drops martinis, and moves in the right direction. So far, so good!
