Day 366 (c)-- Conclusion

Well, my friends it's the end of the blog.  My whole first year post-college.  I had thought that I would have more sentiment or analysis coming to the end of things, but my mind is quite delightfully buzzing with new projects.  [*366 because of leap year]

For starters, I'm working on starting my own online literary magazine.  You might recall back in February when I wanted to start an online magazine dedicated to twentysomething girls who are stylishly trying to figure out all this career, love, and life madness.  I haven't given up on the dream, but I'm simply not prepared for the amount of attention and designer skills a full-fledged magazine requires so I'm excited to create something I'm more familiar with: a literary magazine.

A lit magazine basically covers submissions of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry, and is often associated with a university.  I was a co-fiction editor for my school's lit mag during my senior year of college so this should be right up my alley.  I'm hoping to launch in August and might have some friends on board for resume-builder positions like Publicist and COO.  Right now I'm looking for templates and hope to have images and fonts up this week.

I also have a very real itch to quit my job and go on a 3-week backpacking trip to the upper East Coast.  Top city picks: Savannah, GA, Charleston, SC, Charlotte, NC, Raleigh, NC, Richmond, VA, Washington D.C., Rhode Island, Boston, Maine, and Brooklyn.  And I still plan on going to Seattle/Portland in August or September.

Basically the situation is this: I might be getting fired because I'm going on my boyfriend's family's trip (if you've been in a family for over 5 years can you say it's your family too?) during peak summer hours.  I mean, I get my work saying no.  I actually do get it.  And since the job sucks anyway and my lease is up at the end of July maybe I should just quit at the end of July and hit the road for a few weeks and return to San Diego all refreshed and inspired.  And I am super stoked about the family reunion.  I can't wait to see everyone and catch up, and kayak, and swim, and maybe finally see that Civil War site. 

But back to today, a year later, and my blog's conclusion.  Did I accomplish my goals for this year?

--Get a job. Preferable a good one.

Well, I've had 3 jobs this past year.  There was that one at the coffee shop I worked at for 2 days and was the first job I ever quit because the training was piss poor [they expected me to learn how to cook the food when the chef was gone by "read the menu" and "osmosis"], plus I didn't like how I'd be working alone so much and closing by myself felt a little creepy.  I did like my unpaid job at the publishing house for three months.  I completely fell in love with reading unpublished manuscripts and meeting authors and researching bookstores.  But the people were all over 55, too quiet, too petty, and the business was always about to go out of business.

And lastly, front desk at the hotel which has been my least favorite job of all time.  I hate having an inconsistent schedule, working with backstabbing bitches, being "punished" by being sent to the even shitter hotel, and pretending to give a fuck about who takes 40 minutes lunches instead of 30.  It's been such a downer on my health and psyche, but it has taught me patience and what I truly want out of life.  I'm hoping to quit by the end of July if I'm not fired first for taking a vacation while working in the vacation business. 

--Live in a cool house

I've lived in 2 houses this past year and both were cool in their own ways but not the "home" I was looking for.  I enjoyed living with my boyfriend and his roommates.  I liked all of us cooking together and waking up next to him every morning, and days started with The Postal Service and walks to the beach.  But it was too cramped.  And we're just not in a place to live with each other, just us.  And I'm surprisingly ok with that.  I'm not ready to be a settled down couple in a our apartment; I still like having roommates and other energy around.  And my current place with the 5 girls has been so-so.  I moved here out of desperation and it's been that disjointed house the whole time.  I don't hang out with them and I'm cool with that.  I love how my room is my office, with tons of candles and colorful scarves hanging from the walls.  I'll probably move in my the bf temporarily after my lease is up and go from there.  

--Make friends 

My least accomplished goal this year.  I haven't been lonely and consider my bf's roommates as people I go to movies or plays or cook with.  But those best friends I can share the weight of the world with and who inspire me and I inspire them to be better people?  No, not yet. 

--Eat things besides Mac&Cheese and pizza

I'd say this has been a successful goal.  I've made quite a few things this year like enchiladas, French onion soup, steak with parsley butter, and peach cobbler.  Granted, I still eat a lot of junk food because it's cheaper but I really am trying to change that.

--Do yoga at least twice a week/Jog a few times a week

So...I've gained like 5 pounds this year, which is noticeable when you only weigh 90. I'm confident I can lose if I just change my diet somewhat and actually exercise.  I guess 23-24 was my body's limit for reckless eating.  And I mean, when Cheez-its cost .50 and and healthy salad costs $9.50 guess what I've been eating the past six months?  So yeah, I definitely need to get an fitness routine going like jogging, crunches, and pole dancing.

 

--Make a financial investment 

 The economy is shit so I didn't make the kind of investment I had hoped.  But I did spend a ton of money becoming a resident of California, and kitchenware to learn how to cook, and a new bed set with white sheets/comforter with lush red pillows, an iPhone 4s, new glasses, a huge chunk of money on my teeth (floss!), and my G.R.E. study guide. 

--Have better style

Working on it.  I have some dresses I really like, and a basic interview outfit, and some hippy shoes and tanks, but yeah, still working on this one.

 

--A year from now, be able to be proud of something I've made and become.

I'm really proud of this blog : D

Thank you very much for reading.  And wish me luck in my post-college life.  It's not about one year, or two years, or Mays or Junes, it's just life.  A beautiful life of sandy flip-flops, farmer's markets, driving fast in a Beetle, vanilla tea candles, and a college diploma on the wall.  

Peace and best wishes to you!

Day 366 (b)--Fun facts about female sexuality

I am so dismayed at what's been going in politics these days with women's rights.  

In the past six months Virgina tried to pass a bill to force a woman to see an ultrasound before getting an abortion (including women who were pregnant due to rape), Arizona passed a bill stating the pregnancy starts BEFORE conception, Susan G. Koman organization briefly cut grant money to Planned Parenthood (money which is specifically used for monograms) because PP is a leader in abortions, not to mention the firestorm about contraception being included in heath care or not, and if that makes us "sluts".  

Why is sexuality someone else's business?  And has female sexuality ever not been controversial?  And why is that? 

Which brings me to the larger issue: why aren't we, us women, talking about our sexuality?  Why aren't we fighting for us?  Why are facts about female sexuality so fucking taboo?  So let's change that.

Speaking of numbers:

 
-- More than half of women ages 18 to 49 reported masturbating during the previous 90 days.  

[The University of Indiana's National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 2010]

-- The average age a girl loses her virginity is 17.3.  

[National Center for Health Statistics, Fertility, Family Planning, and Reproductive Health of U.S. Women: Data from the 2002 National Survey]

--In the past year: 75% of women in their twenties gave oral sex to a man, and 71% of women received oral sex from a man.  59% of woman in their thirties gave oral sex to a man, and 59% of women received oral sex from a man.  53% of women in their forties gave oral sex to a man, and 52% of women received oral sex from a man.  

[The University of Indiana's National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 2010]  

--In other words, 89% of women and 90% of men ever had oral sex with an opposite-sex partner.

-- 36% of women have had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner. 12% of women reported any same-sex contact in their lifetimes. 

[National Survey of Family Growth, 2006-2008]

--Speaking of which, 14.4%  of women consider themselves 'sexual but not strictly heterosexual, i.e. either lesbian or bisexual'.  

[Study done by Cornell University of 20,000 individuals in 80 communities, as quoted by Psychology Today]. 

-- By the age of 22-24, 92% of women have had intercourse

[The National Center for Health Statistics, 2006-2008]

-- The median number of (male) sexual partners a woman age 25-44 has had in her lifetime is 3.6.  The percent of women 25-44 years of age who have had 15 or more male sexual partners is 10.4%.

[study done by the National Center of Health Statistics, 2006-2008]

-- 12% of women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime. Please please please get checked.

[The National Cancer Institute, SEER Cancer Statistics Review 1975–2007]

Important facts about abortion

According to 2011 statistics done by the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists: 

--Nearly half of all pregnancies among US women are unintended, and four in 10 of those end in abortion.

--Each year, 2% of women ages 15–44 have an abortion; half of them have had at least one previous abortion. 

--At least half of American women will experience an unintended pregnancy by age 45, and about one-third will have had an abortion. 

--Abortions per year have been 

year        number         rate per 1,000 women

2008      1,212,350     19.2

2007      1,209,640     19.5

2006      1,242,200     19.9

2005      1,206,200     19.4

2000      1,313,000     21.3

1995      1,359,400     22.5

1990      1,608,600     27.4

1985      1,588,600     28.0

1980      1,553,900     29.3

1975      1,034,200     21.7

According to 2011 statistics by The Guttmacher Institute which states the same findings: 

--22%  of all pregnancies (excluding miscarriages) end in abortion.  

--At least half of American women will experience an unintended pregnancy by age 45, and, at current rates, one in 10 women will have an abortion by age 20, one in four by age 30 and three in 10 by age 45.

According to The American Pregnancy Association which states the same study findings:  

--Each year in the United States 1,200,000 women experience pregnancy loss through termination.

Abortions are happening.  Too many of them. And banning abortion won't solve the problem. Clearly there needs to be more information about contraception, and both birth control pills and condoms are free in many states.  People are going to have sex, so make it safe, make each child wanted.

Back to fun sex facts


--By age 44, 95% of men and women had had premarital sex; 97% of those who had ever had sex had premarital sex.

[Public Health Reports, researchers analyzed data from four cycles of the National Survey of Family Growth from 1982 to 2002]

A brief note on women's bodies 


-- The pH level of vaginal fluid is 4.5, which is the same acidity scale as tomatoes and beer. 

[American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology]

-- All women have some form of vaginal discharge (usually daily). Normal discharge may appear clear, cloudy white, and/or yellowish when dry on clothing.

[University of Illinois, McKinley Health Center]

-- The average weight of American women is 164.7 pounds, which is up from the average 140 pounds in 1960. 

[The National Health and Nutrition Survey, 2006]

Back to sex


According to polls done in 2004 by the esteemed TNS and reported by ABC News with a 2.5 error margin, the average American's sex life includes:

Sex outdoors	57%
Discuss fantasies	51
Faked orgasm (women)	48
Sexually adventurous	42
First-date sex	29
Paid for sex (men)	15
Paid for sex (single men, 30+)	30

 

Did it	Fantasized about it
Cheated	16%	30
Threesome	14	21
Sex at work	12	10

	Men	Women
Always have orgasms	74%	30
Usually	23	45
Less often	3	24

Cheating: Who's Done It
All	16%
Men	21
Women	11
No children under 18	19
Dissatisfied w/ sex life	34
Single men 30+	42

--53 percent of women (and 45 percent of men) ages 18 to 60 use vibrators.

[2009 studies done by Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion in IU's School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine]

--And for that matter 1 in 4 women used a vibrator this month. 

[same study, 2009 Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion in IU's School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine]

Other's people sex lives aren't about your comfort nor mine.  It's not your choice.  And that's the point.  Sex is a person's choice.  Their choice. 

And while our sex is our business, maybe we should stop making it invisible.  Because let's look at facts.  WOMEN HAVE SEX.  Let's repeat that, WOMEN HAVE SEX.  People have sex.  And not something to be bashful about or made illegal or stigmatized.  

What would happen, do you think, if one day (let's say tomorrow) all Americans wore shirts that accurately reflected us.  On the front we would wear I HAVE SEX or I DO NOT HAVE SEX, and on the back we can write all of the things we do or don't do like, I MASTURBATE, or I HAVEN'T HAD AN ORGASM, or I HAVE ONE-NIGHT STANDS, or I AM IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP, or whatever.  Do you think that sexuality would be such a debate if it wasn't such a taboo topic? 

Knowledge is power, but so is voice.  Stand up for the rights of your body and be aware that a fight against sexuality is a fight against choice.  

And have an amazing day doin' whatever it is ya like ta do.

 

Day 366-- Is College Worth It?

Is College Worth It?

It's been a year since graduation, so what has it been like like graduating college in 2011?  Conflict.  Bitterness.  Pride.  Love.

I.                    Why College is (mostly )a Bad Idea

II.                  In Defense of College

III.                Why it Was Worth It

a.)    For family

b.)    As a female

I.  Why College is (mostly) a Bad Idea

Do new college graduates feel entitled?  You bet we feel entitled.  Why the fuck wouldn’t we feel entitled when our whole lives we were told that we NEEDED college or else we’d be shamed into working at a fast food restaurant or lower, and here we are, working at them because they’re the only jobs available.  We were humiliated into believe that these jobs weren’t good enough and so what does that do to our psyche after all of these years and all of this money spent only work as a cashier or a clerk or sales runt?

We did what you told us to do.  We got good grades, we’re incurred massive debts, and we just spent 4 or more years of our lives for this….promise.  This promise that education was going to get us ahead, and for the most part that’s a lie today.  College isn’t the only step; it’s the first step.  But we didn’t treat it like that.

This wasn’t the life we had in mind.  Not just job-wise or confidence-wise, but in health too.  Us new graduations can’t pay to see a dentist or a doctor because we each week we must decide groceries vs. the dentist, gasoline vs. the doctor, rent vs healthy food.  Poverty doesn’t give you much choice, and poverty was never a part of the equation when we were told to go to college.  We were told to go to college to avoid poverty.  What the fuck is going on?  Why are so many people suffering?  

And so many Americans are suffering and will be for a long time as the economy crawls to recovery.  And in the mean time, is it really worth going to college? 

II. In Defense of College

In the long run, yes, college graduates do make more money than those without college degrees.  In the long run you have a better chance of getting your dream job not only on your skills you learned in college, but by networking with people in your major or school who have similar interests in careers.  

And historically, education is such a hard-earned privileged.  Black slaves were banned and beaten if they learned how to read, some women around the world are still be prohibited from education, and let’s not forget that the educated class is often the targeted class in regimes and tyrannies.   

And why is this?  Because when the masses are educated they think for themselves.  They think of themselves as individuals in a system instead of c’est la vie.  Educated thoughts are dangerous because they start revolutions and marches and democracies.  The mind is the best weapon you can have for your rights as human being.  So yes, educating that mind about your subject of interest—which is often related to other things in the world—is a good thing.

And hey, just the socialness of college is worth it.  All those beer pong parties, and shots before class, and all-nighters, and being a hot mess, and boyfriends, and best friends, and enemies, and crappy dorm rooms, and being broke, and too much coffee and too much weed and too much fun are all worth it.  It’s a chance to be a teenager with more freedom.  And those memories of being the craziest you ever thought you could be are going to be the stories you tell forever.  And yes, learning shit is important too.

III. Why it Was Worth It (for me)

And what it means to ME.  My diploma sitting a little crooked in the dark maroon and gold frame.  That little paper, the plainness of, the importance of, the history of it.  What is that paper to the measly 23- year old who accepted it?

a. Names and callous hands

My first name, a name not intended but nonetheless the same name as my great-grandmother who farmed and toiled hard with beautiful and rough callous hands.  My middle name, my mother’s name who didn’t graduate college and has always had a bit of an inferiority complex in never feeling quite at the same level as her peers.  My last name, belonging to my father who was largely illiterate and hid it well.  This degree mattered to my family. It was a dream they had for themselves and I was the one who had the opportunity and expectation to go.

b. As a female

There are woman, too many woman right now, right now in this very fucking minute who are being raped, who are being mutilated and sewn back together, who are being abandoned in dumpsters, who are being sold to the dirtiest bidder, who are being spit at, and threatened, and shamed, scarred.  And why?  Because they’re women.   

Don’t you dare for a minute forget the feminism isn’t over, because humanity is never over.  Women are human beings who happen to be women.  And guess what, just like men women get hungry, and get scared, and desire life, and desire love, and feel pain, and hurt others, and breathe in and out with spongy lungs, with red hearts and white intestines just like everyone else.  And so many women desire more.

More safety, more bread, more heat, more dignity, more education.  Education has a long long long long history of denying women education.  In all of the centuries across the world, this current era is the best it’s ever been for a woman to get an education, but at the same time so many women—too many—are still denied.  

The diploma on my wall is the privilege of knowledge, the privilege of learning about the world in how it works and how it has worked and how we can change the parts that don’t work.  Education is a key to a locked world.  If you a know a system you can change a system, and for most of history, the system has kept women down in the gutter.  Women today are still seen as holes to fill, whether that’s a vagina or a uterus—just look at glittering advertisements or child brides.  

So yes, as a female I am so utterly grateful to have this diploma because, in this very minute there is a woman screaming to make the pain stop of her mutilated or starved or tortured body and I have something she’ll never get the change to have, all because she’s female and if I were where she’s at, I’d be in the same violated undervalued situation.

 And trust me, I do feel a responsibility to that woman, and as someone with privilege it is my obligation as a fellow female to help her—whether that’s with votes of the right political party, or money for aid, or time to volunteer to help her get out.

IV. Conclusion:

Yes, college is worth it.  It’s a prized thing historical and emotionally.  And yes, I agree that the worth of it has diminished in time, but I think that this shows the cracks of the college system, not that college is broken or useless.  Personally I think that college should be organized like this: 

1^st year semester 1:  general education;  semester 2: forced community service

2^nd year: your subject

3^rd year: your subject

4^th year: internships

With this schedule, the first year is general exposure to all subjects and the community you'll be graduating into, the second and third year focused solely on your subject of learning, and the last year is purely real-life experience in your field to put on a resume and be prepared for the actual work of the subject.

College is worth it.  It just doesn’t seem like it right now.  And maybe all of this is teaching us to fight harder, to worker smarter, and when that success comes, it will be even sweeter because we’ll remember the struggle to earn it.  I’m glad and I’m proud I went to college.  And I hope for best for me, and the very best for my graduating class out there in the world.  We’ll make it.

Day 365 (c)-- Summer playlist in San Diego!

San Diego in June Playlist

1.) "Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men.  A funky indie band with the most catchy song this summer.

2.) "Mr Brightside" by The Killers.  Still a bomb song!

 

3.) "Wild Ones" - Flo Rida. The standard summer hip song song which is best listened to while buzzed on cheap beer on a hot day

4.) "Lasso" by Phoenix.  Driving with the windows down.

5.) "Groovin' Slowly" by The John Butler Trio.  If you like Jack Johnson you'll like the John Butler Trio.

 

6.) "All Night" by Damian Marley feat. Stephan Marley.  I love Damian Marley. 

7.) "Two Weeks" by Grizzly Bear.  When shopping at Urban outfitters for your summer tank.

8.) "I Turn My Camera On" by Spoon.  Still shopping at Urban.  

9.) "Hold On" by the Alabama Shakes.  This song came out of nowhere.  The lead singer wears mom jeans and Walmart t-shits and fucking ROCKS OUT in this blues band from Tennessee. 

10.) "What's Love" by Fat Joe feat. Ashanti.  Oh yeah.

11.) "Cracks flux pavilion remix" by the Freestylers feat. Belle Humble.  Some dub-step for ya.

12.) "1940 amp live remix" by The Submarines.  A little more dub-step

13.) "It's All the Same to Me" by Anya Marina.  All playlists should have a sexy coffee shop song

14.) "Now That You Got It" by Gwen Stefani feat. Damian Marley.  Yup, love Damian Marley.

15.) "Don't Cha" by The Pussycat Dolls.  Don't cha?

Day 365 (b)--Ode to working at Starbucks (the green apron society)

It's job hunting time again which comes with the usual conversation of, "What's been your favorite job?". Without hesitation I loved working at Starbucks on campus for 4 years.  I miss my stolen pastries split with co-workers, I miss the smell of freshly ground coffee (though everyone hated doing the grinding because it gets coffee dust all over your hands), I miss getting every single major holiday off including summer and winter break, and most of all I miss my peeps in the green apron society.

Starbucks attracts the sort of worker who comes in hungover from too many jager shots the night before, is loud, sarcastic, and makes you laugh all 8 hours of the shift, then goes home to get high, work on a painting, do some homework, and ends the night with some beer pong on the kitchen the table. 

Everyone is on their way to somewhere else, so there is this sort of temporary insanity and friendship.  And you are a team.

Yes of course there are people you like working with vs others, but when shit is busy you need to function as a team.  You need trust that the person taking the order is asking all of the right questions, you need to trust that the person ringing up is doing it quickly, you need to trust that Bar 2 is putting in the right amount of pumps and has the milk ready and has the frappuccino already in the blender, and you need to trust that Bar 1 is going to put in the correct fresh shots and top each drink perfectly with whipped cream or crosshatching or the right amount of foam.  You are a team.  That one drink requires all players and whether or not you like your team, nonetheless you are a team when it counts.

And I believe in Starbucks products.  Ok yes, $4 is a lot of a simple drink, but please take into account that the coffee beans are grown in ethical working conditions, they come from all over the world, espresso is only good for 13-17 seconds before it's mixed into milk, and let me tell you, (1) a Cappuccino is a damn work of art to get milk that light and foamy, (2) a Frappuccino takes a ton of steps and wrist actions of measuring, pumping, blending, pouring, and topping, and (3) Carmel Macchiatos need vanilla pumps, the right amount of foamy milk to make the shots float, eyeballing the right about of milk and foam so the shots don't overflow, fresh shots, and a crosshatch of caramel.

And the funny thing is, most baristas do care.  We actually do care that you like your drink.  We might not give a shit about you most of the time, but we do want you to have an nice day with something we created in your hands.

I miss my baristas.  I miss us bunch of baristas/ artists, and dancers, and the pre-meds, and actresses, and writers, and the photographers, and the budding anthropologists, and architects, and chefs, and business travelers, and M.A.-seekers, and those who were lost for now because being lost at a coffee shop ain't so bad.  I miss bitching with them about how the fucked up it is that we have to throw out perfect good milk in the carafes, and why it's bullshit that tea has to shaken exactly 10 times, why shift leads are often awesome because they're our age and bust their ass just like us (but usually avoid mop duty) but store managers are often crazy awesome or fucking weird, and how no one should ever order a green tea frappuccino because they taste awful and making them is a nightmare.

Starbucks is by no means the perfect job, and yes there is plenty to bitch about.  And it's certainty not a job you want to work at forever because stocking sugar packets your whole life isn't the big goal.  But for a moment (or a few years in your twenties) Starbucks is family. 

Because when it comes down to it, Starbucks is a cool place to work because Starbucks is a cool place to be.  It's a place to relax, or meet up, or wake up, to escape from stress, or organize a project, or go on a date or wait for a date, or simple be somewhere kinda cozy.  Maybe all of the branding rubbed off on me, but I do find that holding a Starbucks latte in hand makes my problems seem less important and a little better, and yeah actually, a routine coffee shop is kinda that "3rd place" in your life between home and work.  Well, it was mine at least.  And the truth of the matter is, most of my co-workers and I spent more collective time at our Starbucks than most apartments we lived in. 

It was not a place to work forever, but it is a place to remember.  And I'm remembering it tonight.  I miss you guys, my comrades in the green apron society.  And I hope you're doing well in your adventures.  I know some of you, like me, have had a trickier year with jobs so let's just take a collective shot and cheers to new things to come.

And for the record, what kind of crazy shit do I deal with by working front desk at a hotel?  Well, there was the guy who set the trash can on fire, the police raid in the parking lot, the holy-lady who wanted to leave the hotel around 1am to kill some "witches" who are dating her cousins, the one-legged homeless lady in the sparkly pink bandana who wouldn't leave the property, the other homeless lady Doris who comes in every other week insisting that she owns the hotel and Jesus is her business partner, and other misfits, crazies, and escorts with their politicians.

And granted there are some really nice people like genuinely excited tourists, or family reunions, or weddings, or girls nights out.  And I do like working the bar talking to the travelers and business people.  But the general hotel culture aka my co-workers suck.

There is absolutely no loyalty with people who are going nowhere and hate you for trying to move up.  No one has each other's backs, gossip is rampant, my schedule is NEVER consistent, and for being in the vacation business they hate when their workers take vacation. Um?  Really?  That's like working at a smoke shop and getting yelled at for taking a smoke break.  And for the record, I was more or less threatened with my job today because I'm going on a week-long family vacation and someone else was kind enough to pay for my tickets. Yeah, I'm looking for a new job.

So for now what can I do but write and dream, hope to get hired in something in communications, work on my copywriter portfolio, try to launch a budding online literary magazine, and walk down the street to the beach for my the weekly farmer's market with the smells of sage and strawberries, tri-tip and dreadlocks, fresh eggs and guitars, dogs, peaches, cut-off short shorts, and fresh pesto.  And a Starbucks for the walk home.

Day 365-- Yup, defending Nicholas Sparks movies/ The Lucky One movie review

Chocolate, coffee, smoking, speeding, junk food, procrastinating; we all have our secret vices.  Mine are Nicholas Sparks movies.  Trust me, you do not want to know how many times I've watched the A Walk to Remember, use The Notebook allusions in everyday sentences, and obsess about Dear John and the ending of Message in a Bottle.  

It's embarrassing.

You already know what you're getting when you watch a Nicholas Sparks movie: a kiss in the rain/water, someone important dies, two very attractive if not slightly damaged people fall in love epically and get torn apart in a huge argument, and reconnect in an equally epic way that involves running and/or the rain.  

So why bother?  Because...because cynicism and the hook-up culture hasn't killed us yet, and I think that deep down we hold on to our quiet optimism.  We still want to believe that some day somewhere someone is going to love us so absolutely, and we're going to love them so absolutely free of all irony and sarcasm, and that love will last a lifetime. 

Or maybe we just like the rain.

And for the record, I think that the North Carolina/small town motif is a perfect fit for romantic stories.  In a small town all those distractions of traffic, career, rent, and noise get lost among what's really important: sweet tea with people who love and cotton shirts on warm days.  I mean, can it get much better than that?  Let's be cynical after the movie's over, yeah? Then we can poke fun at the melodramatic dialogue and improbably odds and stupid reasons why the characters split up for awhile, and yes, those flaws are very much there.  

On to The Lucky One review!

Kiss in the rain: check-ish (kiss in outdoor shower)

Someone important dies: check

Two very attractive slightly damaged people who fall in love: check

Briefly torn apart: check

Epic reunion involving running/rain: check

Did I enjoy completely? Oh yes.

Logan is a 3rd tour marine returning home with some lasting effects of PTSD.  He's a feeling lost coming home to his sister's house and isn't quite sure where he belongs in kind of world where he made it out alive when so many of his best mates didn't.  Through the war he's carried around a picture of a beautiful blonde he found in some rubble before an ambush.  This is his lucky charm, and as it helped him make it through the war he is now on the journey to find the girl and tell her thank you.

Cue in Taylor Schilling as Beth Green, the girl in the photo.  Not many people saw her as Dagney in Atlas Shrugged: Part 1 last year, but she holds the same magnetic allure with that hint of chill.  Beth is not a damsel in distress but a single mom trying to run a dog kennel with her grandmother.  She's athletic with a pert beautiful face and she isn't giving Logan an inch.  For his part, Logan doesn't push.  He takes up a job at the kennel and lifts those pales of dog food without complaint or much attention.

Unless your Beth peeking through the window (and we're peeking too.)  Zac Efron, you are grown!  He doesn't overplay Logan as a solider, but remains a dutiful and humble young man.  With killer buff arms....what was I talking about?  Lost my train of thought.

Oh right, sex scenes.  The best sex scenes (and a few of them) than the rest of the Nicholas Sparks movies.  Fan-tastic. 

Logan and Beth never tell each other 'I love you'.  They never leave town or start a war or start a movement.  They are simple together, in an absolute way that only chemistry can explain.

Yes, a lot of the dialogue is cheesy.  Yes, it was stupid for Beth to get so upset about finding out Logan had her picture before they even met.  Yes, the important death felt unnecessary.  But hey, that's what you get with these kind of movies.  And I enjoyed every minute of it.  Call me a girl. ;)

Day 364 (b) Are we interesting?/ HBO's Girls review

It was when my 21-year old co-worker asked me what my plans were after work and I answered, 'Go to the grocery store,' that I realized with horror that I have become an uninteresting person.  When the hell did that happen?  I suppose it's so easy in college to find things to do and an abundance of people to do those things with, and post-college is a bit of burn out with 40-hour weeks and leftover fatigue of all-nighters. 

When did I become so boring?  My latest news isn't some great local band I just saw or some crazy party or whatever; my current news is dentist appointments and buying hamburger meat.

Or maybe I'm not boring?

Today, an average Tuesday, I woke next to my boyfriend and made some oatmeal as the neighbors congregated on the back porch in an array of thrift sundresses, wetsuits, and a rolled up pair of Smurf pjs.  Strawberries and weed pipes were passed around as we talked about the warming weather and upcoming onslaught of tourists.  A little stoned, a little wet, and little tanned, we all went back to our houses or back to the beach.

I hopped the shower for a delicious half hour, enjoying my Lush products like the lemon peel soap and mango butter moisturizer as my boyfriend read the latest news of the world and 4/20 politics.  A warm round of sex later and off to a brief trip to the beach.  Open sand, warm sun, cool wind, holding hands, talking about seeing old friends and the energy, apart-ness, and love that comes from that.

His turn for a shower and I'm grilling onions and slicing up avocados for a reheat of the cheeseburgers we grilled yesterday for Memorial Day, which, by the way, if you're grilling this summer please use lighter fluid.  He was using printer paper and vanilla candles among other things to get the damn thing started, lol.

Off to work he went to the medical marijuana collective and I had the day off, spending it working on a upcoming literary magazine I have in the works (and hoping to launch June 1st), plus a little sunbathing and watching a downloaded version of The Lucky One.

Boring or not boring?  Beach living.  Slow, indulgent, sandy, warm, and salty.

Which brings me to my next point, have you seen HBO's Girls?

 The Dietitian is all about it and insisted that I would love it, as it's a play off of Sex and the City but with average 24-year old characters.  My first impression: this show is uninteresting because these girls are uninteresting, and they're uninteresting because they're so realistic.

They look like average 24 year-olds.  They dress like average 24-year olds (hello, frumpy Forever 21).  And they have average 24-year old problems like job hunting and being cut off financially from parents.  We watch television to escape and be inspired by false fantastical/humorous/glamorous/heroic lives.  STD tests aren't very interesting and neither are secretary jobs, so I admit that my first impression was to write-off the show.  But then, I kept watching.

Marnie Michaels--Miss Perfect.  She is kinda what us 24-year olds are trying to be.  Beautiful, entry level career path, Pottery Barn,  perfect hair.  But then the cracks.  Someone 24-going-on-44 is rather annoying.  There's no excitement in being perfect, not to mention off-putting.  You want her ex to rebound in two weeks with some fun Bohemian chick with a crop top because you hate Marnie but at the same time you want to be like Marnie.  It's a weird conflict.  Are you more like Marnie or the Bohrmian chick? And who are do you want to like?

Shoshanna Shapiro--Virgins are petty uninteresting.  Sex brings all the conflict, the things to talk about the morning after, the stress, the joy, the you-are-so-right-and-he's-such-an-idiot, and love, and craziness. Sex makes us more interseting, so virgins tend to be boring BUT...losing virginity or almost losing it or should you lose it and who to and saving it and all that sort of intrigue of WHEN, well, now that's exciting. 

Jessa Johansson--My favorite character, who, surprise surprise is the most unrealistic person on the show.  And isn't that the point?  Don't we like characters who say things we'd never say, or do things we'd never do, and dress like we'd never dress?  In the 2nd episode she's drinking a White Russian before her abortion appointment, and in Sunday''s episode she's dressed in all feathers to a warehouse party in Brooklyn.  

Hannah Horvath--The lead character.  Average smart sightly chubby twentysomething with wit and a few misplaced tattoos.  She's looking a job and not getting hired, sleeping with a quiet skinny Brooklyn guy with a hipster mustache, and is trying to be a writer in her spare time of making rent and watching tv with friends.  In other words, she's you or your roommate or someone you definitely know.  And that's why you stay watching--because you want to know if she turns into a 9-to-5er or if she can break though the banality of life and be that interesting shiny girl you secretly want to be as well.

And so I....like it.  I'm....interested. What's going to happen to these 24-year olds on the verge of being boring because I'm right there on the cross-roads with them.  They're in their twenties with a Sex and the City poster on the wall to guide them though each lame party, each non-hire, each maybe boyfriend, and the infinite and all-important question: what's next?  I'm staying tuned. 

Day--364 Basil Avocado Cheeseburger recipe

Preface:

Yes yes, we're at the beginning of bikini season and we all want flat abs and killer legs, but hey, let's indulge ourselves one more weekend and start those weight-loss resolutions on June 1st, eh?  Excellent!

There aren't that many things in this world as perfectly consistent and yummy as a cheeseburger. Cheeseburgers are pretty hard to fuck up, and you have so many options of toppings that burgers are in many ways always custom made.  But that doesn't mean that all cheeseburgers are fantastic.  Very few, in fact, wow you.  Well my friends, heat up that little smoky and prepare for the best damn burger you've ever had. 

Basil Avocado Cheeseburgers

Ingredients:

2 pounds hamburger meat 80% lean

2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

4 leaves of fresh basil

salt and pepper

6 slices of American cheese

6 hamburger buns (good quality)

optional toppings

avocados

onions

tomatoes

ketchup

mustard

Directions:

1.) Heat up your coals in your little grill.  Follow the coal instructions, but mine usually recommend heating the grill about 15 minutes before cook time.

2.) While that heat up, get out a large bowl.  Mix together your hamburger meat, Worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper, and torn up basil leaves together.  After mixing together, form the meat into 6 large patties.  Hamburger meat shrinks when it cooks so don't be shy about making your meat patties extra wide. 

3.) Personally I like cooked onions and cooked tomatoes on my burgers so I would slice up the onion into thin rings (likewise with the tomato) and put in separate frying pans on the stove.  No need for oil or anything, just cook on medium until the onions are translucent with a slight singe and the tomatoes slices are a little toasted.

4.) Get your condiments and toppings ready.  Once the patties go on the grill they cook pretty fast. 

5.) Start grilling your patties. Grill for about 4 minutes and only flip once.  You should start toasting your buns about now. Right before taking the patties off the grill add a slice of cheese on them until the cheese is partially melted.

6.) My style of basil avocado cheeseburger: bottom bun > half of an avocado sliced up > a bit of ketchup > the cheeseburger patty > grilled onions > grilled tomatoes >top bun.  Done!  

Review:

Fucking amazing Memorial Day lunch.  There is truly something to be said about grilling your own cheeseburgers and adding just amount of exactly what you want, exactly how you like it to be cooked.  My boyfriend and I ate ours with greedy little fingers and happy mouths next to our smoking grill on the porch.  Excellent.