Day 207--"Revolution" and iced tea

The bf is sitting in my black chair somewhat reading the latest Margaret Atwood novel as he's thinking of the next bout of our lively debate of how to talk to people objectivity when, in real life, most people interpret comments personally.  

It doesn't matter if a speaker intends to offend or simply says an objective statement that is taken offensively, that person being offended will still harbor resentment towards the speaker. So how can you talk to people? I say think before you speak, and he thinks there could be a better tactic not involving sugar coating.  And so I go back to merrily type my latest post while listening to Black Carl and he goes back to reading and sending me some flirty looks here and there, making me laugh.

The end of the year is almost here and I've been doing my back-burner tasks of posting old pictures on facebook, working on blog drafts, and sometime before midnight I have to pay my car registration to Cali.  

It's been a real nice day.  Breakfast consisted of dark chocolate and the last of the stale sugar cookies, and I wore my new cut off black sweats barefooted around the house looking for our latest copy of Food+Wine.  No one in this house cooks but we have tons of cookbooks and food magazines for some reason.

A few hours of photo selection and uploading later and I had the past 7 months posted, tagged, and captioned--all while eating some left over beef pho and drying my hair.

The boyfriend came over after work in a sexy healthy mood.  He's been sick these past few days and I brought him some pho and a back rub last night at his place.  He opted to stay at his house one more night as to not get me sick, so this afternoon was a warmly flushed reunion. 

I always enjoy the after and sleeping on his chest being nice and toasty.  We got to talking about relationships and friendships we have and had, and how he doesn't understand why people have relationships that "end", whereas for him relationships are relationships and continue through change or decline or increase.  When we first started dating he told me that when he loves he loves forever.  In knowing him, it's true.  Whether or not you have stayed in contact with my boyfriend, he has thought about you and still cares for you.  The love we have may change or grow or decline, but I can assure you that this love will not disappear, and cuddled up under green sheets on a foggy December night I was feeling rather happy.

Ah, here's the latest bout, he says when it comes to telling the truth if the truth is not spoken with bluntness it would not be the truth.  I say comedic telling of the truth will be listened to more readily.  We debate this a bit before telling each other some cock jokes and and I say, "Back to me and why I'm so amazing."  He's reading again and I'm back to typing.

"Here's a question," he puts out there, "If you were to poll all California women and they had to chose a survey of what's more important: facts or feelings, what would they chose?  And what would California men chose: facts or feelings?" I think about it for 2 seconds and reply, 'I imagine that most men would x 'facts', and all women would get out their pen and draw a circle for 'both'.  All women.  All.  You're welcome." He laughs and reads the latest news on the election.

We had dinner at a local bar with a surprisingly extensive menu.  He bought the first round of an iced tea for me, a Stella for him, and chicken nachos between us.  We got onto the topic of girls with boy haircuts and how our society always assume that they're lesbians. Most girls in our life with boy haircuts are either lesbians or weird and my boyfriend joked that we should bring back the word "witch" for weird girls.  'I'm not weird, I'm a witch, bitch!' All Crucible style.  "Who do I have to blame for this, Hawthorne?".  I laughed and told him that this is why I love him: he's a San Diego dude who can allude to Hawthorne and The Crucible.  I paid for the next round of more iced tea, more Stella, and some burger sliders which were awful.  I don't like sliders. I have no idea why I order them at least once a year.  New Years Resolution: never order sliders again.  We talked about The Beatles and if they would have survived as a band today, and if it was them or The Doors that had that song "Revolution".

Which brings us back to here and an unfortunate case of not having milk in the house. (sigh) I should get some groceries tomorrow.  Some Granny Smith apples, more angel hair pasta, maybe get creative for New Years like spinach artichoke dip and roasted grapes with brie cheese (thank God for gift cards!).  Goodnight.  I need to go pay my car registration and write my next rent check.

Day 206-- "It's past midnight somewhere" power hour

At midnight last night it was my roommate The Cellist's 21st birthday.  We were chatting about our Christmases in our semi-dark in the kitchen around 10pm, with her sipping water out of my ASU cup and me eating a stale sugar cookie.  Suddenly I realized what tomorrow was and asked her what her power hour plans were.  The girl didn't know what a power hour was and wanted to go to bed before 11.

Good grief.  No wonder she goes to a nerd school aka UCSD.  My other roommate Dreadlocks came out of her room and immediately started brain storming with me how to fix this power hour complacency.  We all threw on some mixed matched coats and slippers and walked over to the local liquor store for a much needed small pint of Sailor Jerry and 2-liter of Sprite.

Dreadlocks poured herself and The Cellist a shot and me a half shot [I had work this morning at 7am], and we toasted to it being past midnight somewhere.  The girl laughed, and while I know she's having a better time in Vegas right now with her family, I'm glad we were there for her first drink of 21.

It made me a little nostalgic, quite honestly. I was drinking tea around 11:45pm for my power hour.  My roommate playfully harassed me to no end until I went down to the liquor store to buy something alcoholic.  I completely froze in front of all of the bottle and pints and cans and did not know what the hell to get as the store clerk was chuckling at me.  I called up my good friend S---- who laughed along with me and convinced me to get Mike Hard's Pomegranate Lemonade because I was such a nondrinker.   It has 5% alcohol by the way, lol.

Me, my roommate, and my other friend who lived on the same floor stayed up till 1 or 2am cheers-ing and taking way too many pictures to count.  To my roommate--thank you.

Honestly though, I'm going to miss my ASU birthdays.  For my 23rd, my boyfriend and I got to spent the night at his folk's really nice desert house away from everything.  Some good sex and champagne later and we were relaxing outside with him and his pipe and me with my Sylvia Plath looking out at the desert landscape.  We came home for my Ho Down party where everyone had to dress up like a country ho (flannel, short shorts) for a BBQ/hot tub/dance party.  

For my 22nd birthday my boyfriend and I did a double date at the horse races, which I had never been to.  My friend and I bought big hats and cute dresses for the occasion, and no, we didn't win any money.  We drove back to Tempe for a triple date at my favorite favorite restaurant La Bocca where we all enjoyed mojitos, hummus, and the best pizza you've ever had. 

And for 21, aside from midnight and Mike's Hard, my friends and I took a pole dancing lesson which was ridiculously fun and rather tiring.  Strippers do deserve tips, gentleman. Oh, and my actual day of 21 I skipped class to buy booze, and my boyfriend flew in special just for the night (it was a Wednesday) and showed up with some Tiffany's, some erotica he wrote for me, and a heavy beard he grew out at my request.  Some friends came over that night for a round of Apples-to-Apples and Blue Moon.  

...I miss them.  I miss my friends.  I miss the heat of the desert on my skin and my apartments full of colors and candles.  I wouldn't move to Arizona ever again, but do miss that time and place.  I miss the lava cakes and watching Sex and the City with my girls.  I miss walks down Mill Ave to Urban Outfitters, Fascinations, and La Bocca.  And I miss being in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend.

I miss how each time we'd see each other it was like a mini vacation where we'd go out to dinner every night, go out to parties, surprise each other with spontaneous visits and little gifts, make an effort to do something neat in the our towns at least once a trip and have sex the rest of the weekend (sorry, roommates), and just...I don't know...not take each other for granted.  

He tends to say that money is the problem, though I didn't used to agree.  Maybe it is.  Nearly every guy I know gets more alpha and antisocial when he's broke and wants to hide it.  Me too I guess.  Less dates, less surprises, more jealousy and annoyance doing things out of necessity, or resentment if paying for things turns into 70-30 instead of 50-50.  If we were wealthier would we have the same problems?  Maybe.  But maybe less.  I don't know.  I know that I miss him.  And in a way, I miss me too.  

But I guess that's the best thing of a new year.  A fresh start.  A chance to be better.  I want this year to be about growing, situating, making good solid decision based on happiness, and opening up to new possibilities.  I think that 2012 is going to be another year of transition, but hopefully by the time my 24th birthday rolls around in April I'll be able to toast to you and to me and to the happy things to come.  Cheers!

Day 205 (b)-- 11 reasons I hate my job

It's no secret that I hate my job and the past week of events have only highlighted further that my job is AWFUL.  My grandma likes to tell me to write things down; that crappy jobs will be useful to me in my stories.  So here's me writing them down.

1.) The man who called me asking how to turn on the heater.  You press 'on'.

2.) The lady who called me to ask if we carry milk in our soda machines.  Have you ever seen milk sold in soda machines?  Furthermore, just walk outside your room and check.

3.) The people who come in around 10:30am and get fussy that there aren't any rooms ready.  It's 10:30am.  Checkout isn't until 12.  Check in isn't until 3.  Hello.

4.) That lady who I'm pretty sure was using me an alibi last night.  She kept coming back to tell me weird things or start strained conversations, like how her mom has gained 2 dress sizes and she feels like it's her fault.  It's her fault. It's her fault.  It's all her fault.  She had shaved off eyebrows and odd blond hair that was colored in weird places, and she made a point to ask me if she could borrow a newspaper and then take a walk at 10pm.  Alibi, nutcase, or flirting with me?

5.) That lady who yelled at me at 7:14am because I didn't know where the marine depot was.  I know my hotel.  I know the attractions around the hotel.  I even know the restaurants and shops around the hotel.  I've never heard of the marine depot.  I offered to Google it and she informed me that it was .# miles away and how could I not know where it is?!  Well fuck, if you know where it is, why the hell are you asking me?

6.) The drug smugglers who are always older female pairs (like a mom and daughter) who buy a bunch of cheap crap then get real panic-y about mailing things IMMEDIATELY.

7.) The man who almost got me fired because I failed to call him back to tell him that we don't have extra extension cords.

8.) The lady last night who was pissed off at me because we were out of coffee.  However, I was the only one on duty and couldn't leave my station so there was nothing I could do about it.

9.) Furthermore, it makes no goddamn sense to only have one worker at a time at any job.  I mean this.  When it's one person, that person doesn't have the tools nor time to be 100% helpful to a guest.  Like last night when I was trying to check a guest in while also answering two calls and dealing with another guest waiting impatiently to help them.  What kind of service can I give when I'm that stressed out?

10.) And my hotel is shit.  The heaters don't work, the safes don't work, the bathrooms are too small, there are too many shitty view rooms, we could have sold out last night which would have giving us workers and the hotel a bonus but they decided to put 23 hours out of service to redecorate the wallpaper during a PEAK VACATION week, sometimes we have 1 pen we all have to share, the computers freeze up every 45 minutes which makes us look like slow idiots in front of guests, and I'm so busy trying to make it satisfactory that I really can't go above and beyond.  This place is designed to be barely adequate and it makes me look incompetent.

11.) And my favorite, when my boss was on the phone with an angry guest about the lack of our shuttle at 10:45pm.  After 9:30pm our shuttle driver goes home and we pay for taxi rides for our guests.  So here's my boss trying to explain it over the phone, "Sorry, sir our driver is no longer here but we will pay for a taxi." "Yes sir I know it's frustrating but we will pay for it." "Sir, I'm trying to help you." "We will pay for it." "Sir, we will pay for your taxi." Suddenly my boss hung up and looked horrified.  I asked what happened.  She looked at me and said, "Well, you heard me. I was saying, sorry sir we'll handle it. Yes sir, I'm sorry.  And the guest snapped at me, 'I'm not a 'sir', I'm a ma'am!  I'm a woman!'".  My boss got her shit and left early. 

Ok, where can I apply to next?

Day 205-- Back in San Diego

If there was ever a time for tea--or a joint--this is the time.  I've spent the past 53 minutes trying to email this publishing company and I keep getting a failure response.  I got this email from their website, which didn't work, then I spent 45 minutes searching for individual emails which aren't public, then I resent the email sans pdf files (but with two word attachments) which didn't work.  I mean, I still need to attach my resume.  Fine, I'll send it  with no attachments at all.  [waits for spam notice]. Fuck, didn't go through again!  I guess I'll settle for tea.

Well, I've been back in San Diego for a little less than two days now.  It was quite lovely getting out of the cab from the airport and realizing that it was a warm 74-75 degrees outside with tons of sunshine. The bf and I divided up the presents, cracked opened the windows, plugged in the tree, and he drove to work as I drove to the mall.

For a minute I was a little confused if Christmas had happened at all, for there was still Christmas music playing and shoppers every which way.  The Apple store was so packed you'd think Jesus was doing a book signing.   [checks email.  I think it went through that time!]

The goal I've been the most remiss about this post-college year is getting new clothes.  I pretty much despise shopping for clothes.  I'd say out of 35 shirts I can try on, only 2 would fit ok, and only 1 shirt might be a style I like.  It's completely discouraging and a waste of my time.  I understand why clothes are made so generically as they are due to cost and time, but since it's so hard for so many women to find clothes that fit them right, I wish that companies could create lines a little more custom.  Like if clothes came in 5', 5'2", 5'4", 5'"6, ect, and each height came in XS, S, M, L, or XL.  [checks email.  She responded!  She said she would pass on my email to the lady in marketing!]

(sigh) Anyway, it was quite fun anyway shopping around at Fashion Valley.  I spent most of my time in Anthropologie coveting the candles, books, cooking wares, notepads, and decor.  My perfect life would be a mix of Urban Outfitters, Pottery Barn, World Market, and Anthropologie.  

I spent Tuesday night writing my belated letters (sorry anyone who was getting a gift from me via mail!), blogging, listening to The Decemberists, and waiting for my boyfriend to come over for our In-N-Out date before picking up The Dietician from the airport.  

As we waited for her, we hung out in the car in an empty parking lot near the airport debating our past good roommates and shitty roommates.  He's had something like 23 roommates and I've had like 24 roommates. The ones I live with right now are in the bland lower middle.

I woke up at his place, lingered after he went to work, and walked home in the sunshine looking out to the beach.  Bank, post office (sorry again; only half of my letters are done), bought a BBQ chicken sandwich, and walked along the shore on my way home.

Ah, and then there was work. But that's a separate entry.

Day 203*--45 minutes in San Jose

When in the Bay Area I have to see my grandma.  As I've written in previous posts, my grandma is my favorite family member and honest to god my favorite person in my life.  She's witty, she's inspiring, she's artistic and hopeful and loving, and occasionally she forgets that Asians aren't called "Orientals" anymore.  

I'm eternally grateful that my bf's younger bro let me borrow his car.  I absolutely love bugs and jeeps; I own a bug and this was my change to drive a jeep.  The steering was looser than in my car, but the window space was awesome and it was an excellent ride.  It takes about 40 minutes to get to San Jose where she lives, 40 minutes back, so I knew I'd only have 45 minutes to spend with her before I had to be back by 3pm for ham dinner.

Lots of speeding later...

And there's my grandma all smiles and chic.  She was wearing black slacks, with a black blouse with a bright white poka dot trim at the open collar and loose wrists, with a black newsboy cap.  She was styling. 

We hugged and I took my boots off so we were both 4'9-4'11 size together.  She sat in her chair and told me that she was thinking of her sister R---- and that time my grandma convinced her to sit on the handlebars while my gma rode the bike up the hill.  Well grandma kept making bad riding moves, making a very angry R--- fall off,  only to get back on again before yet another spill.  Unfortunately my grandma and her sister have had a grudge for the past twenty years so they send each other Christmas cards but hold an unusual hate/love animosity towards each other. 

I told grandma about my work and the stupidity of my guests, like the guy who asked me how to turn on the heather (you press 'on').  She was laughing and laughing and was hopefully about my possible publishing opportunity.  

Here's another reason my grandma and my mom are so different: at my mom's house the presents were #1, and at my grandma's house we could have talked for hours and the presents could have been left unopened forever.  I finally convinced her to open her gifts from me and she had an annoyed amusement that we bought each other the same gift: the Regis Philbin autobiography.  I know she wanted to give it to me first.  Beat her to it! 

Well we got a good laugh out of that. 

We didn't have too much time left but enough time for her to tell me a little story about Grandpa.  While my Grandpa was in the hospital he saw something on tv where the couple asked each other if they were "solid".  Grandpa liked the word and called up Grandma who was doing errands or was at home for a time before returning to him.  He asked, "Ann, are we solid?".  She replied, "Forever."

Forever.  Before my grandma and I got close I didn't think I had it in me to love anyone forever.  I know now that I can love forever because of the love I have for her.  

That crazy lady.  She followed her grandpa story with a story of how she once went to a neo-nazi by accident.  An acquaintance of hers asked my grandma if she wanted to go to a meeting.  My grandma didn't bother to ask what the meeting was about and said, 'sure, I'll go'.  Well it turned out to be a pro-Hitler, neo-nazi meeting and my grandma didn't know what the hell to do.  Grandpa had served in the WWII and a mutual friend had liberated one of the concentration camps.  That friend had found a nazi hiding in one of the ovens, and when he saw him hiding there the friend got his gun and riddled the nazi with rounds and rounds and rounds of bullets out of the horror of the camp.  For the most part my grandma is a pacifist and doesn't believe in killing, but she loves how that nazi was slaughtered for his crimes.  Anyway, my grandma politely stayed during the neo-nazi meeting and I don't believe she ever hung out with that friend again.

I shook my head and hugged her goodbye.  As I left I told her about the ocean and how a few hours before my flight to Arizona I had been drinking hot chocolate on the pier looking below to the surfers and the bluest ocean she's ever seen.  My grandma loves the sea, and looked through me as if to the see the ocean I was describing to her.

Goodbye, I love you, I'll see you soon. 45+ minutes in San Jose and I arrived back for ham dinner at 2:59pm.

Day 202*--40 hours in the Bay Area

Back in the Bay.

I was in a really happy mood when we landed back in the Bay Area.  I really do love my boyfriend's family and I had a relaxed good vibe about this Christmas.

I have to admit that I experienced a rather large paradigm shift of philosophies as we were driving through the Walnut Creek-Pleasanton area.  While in high school and my trips back to the Bay I've always understood it's appeal theoretically: wealth, security, opportunity, ect.  However, on this trip I think I finally got it.  As we drove past the esteemed companies I understood the desire for work. As we drove past the nice houses I understood the desire for large families who have a safe place to grow up in.  As we drove past the hills and trees I saw it for its beauty I didn't realize I had missed.  There is a good life to be had up there and I got it.

We arrived at the house and thanked his parents again again for the gift of travel this season.  It has been such a treat, and I really do mean that, to be able to see everyone.  The bf showered and I unpacked presents under the tree.

We headed to his brothers/sister-in-law's house for Christmas dinner--which btw was at dinner time.  I don't mind dinners in the afternoon, but I dunno, I've always found it a little weird that holiday dinners are always served at lunch time.  

The house was beautifully decorated and festive for Christmas. :)  I got to try butternut squash soup for the first time, which was much sweeter than I expected (yummy).  There's a funny picture somewhere of everyone at the table smiling at the camera and I'm caught with a spoon full of soup in my mouth, haha.  

Delicious turkey, dinner rolls, mashed potatoes, brussel sprouts, tons of marshmellows on sweet potatoes, and I very much regretted eating that dark chocolate bar on the plane since I couldn't fit anything more in my stomach.

We watched Love Actually, which has more nudity and more men-in-power-taking-advantage than I remember.  Hey I really love the movie, but why do you need 3 male bosses falling in love with their housekeeper/secretary?  Can't you have 1 woman in power? Seriously.  Anyway, it's still one of my favorite Christmas movies and Colin Firth could be my boss any day.  So dreamy and British...

Christmas morning and everyone was up in an assortment of pjs and jeans.  As I said in an early post, this Christmas really wasn't about the presents and it was about the people, so while I was really happy with my gifts, I'm going to skip the details and just say that it was a wonderful thoughtful and playful Christmas with people I care about :)

I went to San Jose briefly to see my grandma and headed back in time for ham dinner.  Truthfully, I'm not a ham fan since it usually makes me sick but I do like the well-done ends that are slightly singed, and this ham was ridiculously tasty. 

And it was nice to be with his family.  I very much enjoy all of their company and I wished that his other brother/sil/nephews could have been there too.

To cap off the night we went to War Horse, which let me tell you was much more war not so much horse.  As it was discussed in the girls bathroom once the movie was over, it wasn't exactly what we were expecting. 

Hugs and kisses, and by 7am were we on our way to San Francisco to fly home.  Goodbye, Bay Area.  Thanks for the love and inspiration!