Day 319 (b)-- How to Lie to People, or, Comrades in the Service Industry

Late on a weekday the Canadian was sitting cross-legged on the semi-dirty kitchen floor with a heavy glass of wine in her hand.  I was in pjs leaning in the door frame, almost as weary after my almost 8.5+ hour shift at the hotel to her 10 hour shift serving at a restaurant. 

We exchanged notes about our day and shared a laugh at how well we lie.

Lie:  "Sorry that took a little longer, we were brewing a fresh pot of coffee for you."

Truth: I totally forgot about your coffee.

Lie: "Sorry we don't have any rooms ready just yet.  We sold out last night and housekeeping going on overdrive right now. Check-out isn't until 12 so we still have tons of people to kick out before we can clean your room (said jokingly)."

Truth: Housekeeping's at lunch.

Lie: Your kids are so cute!

Truth:  Assertive kids usually mean one of two things: (1) the kids are super cool and we enjoy talking to them and admiring their maturity. Or (2) these kids are terrors and will be the whole time. If the kid wanted chicken fingers two minutes and is now throwing a tantrum that she doesn't want chicken fingers anymore, please handle your child in public and stop asking her what she wants; she's 6; just order for her. On the other hand, if your kid is asking me for help about how to work the wi-fi on his computer I'm really proud of his mature confidence, but I am a little worried why you the parent are in your room letting your 10-year roam free and when I call your phone you sound strung-out on drugs.

Lie: We like all customers/guests equally.

Truth: Some stereotypes are true. There are certain groups who don't tip and other groups who constantly have no money on their credit cards.

Lie: We give everyone a fair chance to change their attitude.

Truth: Our instincts are usually dead on. If you seem like a bitch or an asshole you probably will be the whole time. We can usually figure out if you're going to complain to us or to the manager within the first impression. On my end, I rarely get creepy vibes from guests so when I do, I pay fucking attention and guess what, so do the rest of the staff. If you have a vibe that you may be a criminal or a predator the whole front desk is watching you and talking about you behind your back.

I have only felt afraid of one woman the whole time I've worked in the service industry which was extremely strange for me. There was a blankness about her, a deadness in how she stared at me. I felt a twinge of violence I haven't felt in years and wondered if perhaps the woman was an alcoholic or drug addict which would explain the darkness I couldn't identify. My co-worker felt something off about her as well. The next day she briefly lost her daughter and left her son, who didn't know how to swim, by himself at the pool. My co-worker who is also a part-time lifeguard went to the pool and thought that the woman might be a scam artist. Very strange.

Lie:  Any time we apologize about something that's not our fault. Sorry it's rainy outside and you decided to eat lunch on the patio. Sorry our room heaters only go to about 75, and not 85 like you like it. Sorry you don't like the French toast and you can't tell me why. Sorry you missed the shuttle to the park because you were just 3 minutes late.

Truth:  You wouldn't be happy even it was sunny, you room hot, you liked food like normal people, and you were on time. You like being miserable and shitty things happening to you because it confirms that you're right and they rest of us are idiots.

Lie: We pretend not to notice.

Truth:  We notice that you're unhappy in your marriage but your husband doesn't know. We notice your child runs the family. We notice that work is stressing you out. We notice that your sick. We notice that you're lonely. We notice that you're nervous. We notice that this meal, this vacation will be a memory for you.  We notice that you're a good person. We notice.

Day 319-- Iced Cafe Mocha recipe

I love me an iced cafe mocha.  There aren't better lovers than coffee and chocolate, so it's a real shame that cafes charge up the wazoo for a simple cup of chocolate, milk, and espresso.  Not to fret, there's super easy to make at home.  Technically, a proper mocha has espresso, not coffee like I'll be using, but seeing that espresso is simply extremely pressurized coffee beans with hot water and the fact that I was a barista for 4 years, I'm going to let it pass.

Iced Cafe Mocha

Prep time: 5 minutes

Cook time: none

Total time: 5 minutes

Ingredients

1 packet Nestle's Rich Hot Coco mix

1 inch of hot brewed coffee

2 inches of 2% milk

ice cubes

*optional whipped cream and chocolate syrup 

Directions

1.) Brew about a inch of coffee.  In tall glass pour the hot coco mix on the bottom.

2.) Once the coffee is done, pour about an inch of it into the glass, and mix well to dissolve the chocolate.  You'll have left-over coffee in the pot so if you like your mocha's with more caffeine definitely add the rest.

3.) Add the milk and stir.  Add the ice and stir. Done!

Review

Super sweet, delicious, a bit of energy kick, and $4 cheaper than Starbucks.  It's a winner!

Day 318-- Listomania

Hello, Friday.  

My head is absolutely buzzing which means it's time for my trusty inky pen and some paper for listomania.  I love lists.  I'm not super narcotic about finishing them, but they relieve my tension and organize all my buzzy little thoughts into coordinated columns.  Today's lists:

Things I want to do today:

1.) Go to Target to buy some Spring t-shirts, new bras, and maybe a Padres t-shirt. 

2.) Talk to Jo, though I already hit her voice mail

3.) Possibly see The Lady, a movie about the life of Aung San Suu Kyi in theaters today

4.) Maybe go to a bookstore

5.) Write down things I may want to buy myself on a little shopping spree, including salami, brie, some jam, a new box of Lady Grey tea, maybe a new camera, possible an iPhone before June, and some new candles

6.) Work on my blog post How to Lie to People, or, Comrades in the Service Industry

Things to research today:

1.) Do more research for my Fun Facts About Female Sexuality blog post

2.) Look into ordering my first GRE study book from Amazon

3.) Look into ordering a book about grad schools for communications in the Pacific Northwest

Things I have planned for the future:

1.) Do some adjustments to my Seattle/Portland trip to see the universities in Oregon

2.) See if I can stretch out my Bay Area trip one more day to see Jo and S---.  Hotels don't allow workers to take time off on weekends during the late sping/summer so it's going to be a bitch to do.  I'll try my best.

3.) Buy those San Diego Padres tickets for next weekend

4.) Possible write a review of The Ice Man Cometh

5.) Maybe post an entry for my Homemade Cafe Mocha Recipe

6.) Next meal ideas: I still have buttermilk so maybe another round of biscuits.  Maybe next weekend steak, green beans, and rice crispie treats.

Enjoyable things in the past 24 hours:

1.) Watching Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations in Turkey

2.) Long walk along the coast with the bf discussing woman's reproductive rights.  I view the issue of abortion not so much being an issue of ending life (which, come on, it is) but (1) a matter of reproductive choice and (2) that abortion is the END of the problem, and really we should focus on the BEGINNING of the problem which is availability of birth control and safe sex information.  Let's make each child wanted, for the idea that all pregnancies should led to birth is harmful for those unwanted children.  These children who are unwanted, perhaps from rape or incest, or perhaps in families who can't afford children or have abuse in the household--these children don't have a very high chance of being loved and cared for emotional nor financially, and have higher chances of growing up into the welfare system or prison system.  Children should be wanted for their sake, and for the betterment of society.  

He views abortion as an issue of ownership.  When life is killed by a person the government issues punishment for the person responsible, so where is the responsibility with abortion?  If it's not the mother's choice and not her responsibility of this future child's life and protection (and protection does include well-being) then it implies that the unborn child is the government's responsibility to protect--in other words, that child is government property. And that road of people being owned by the government is a dangerous path.  

3.) Researching all of the women who have ever won the Noble Prize.  44 woman have won the Noble Prize, and 16 women have won the Noble Peace Prize, the youngest winner was last year's Tawakel Karman who is 33 and the first Arab woman to win the prize, and only Madam Currey has won it twice though Françoise Barré-Sinoussi should have won it twice since she helped discover HIV (didn't win) but did win the prize for helping discover the HPV virus with cervical cancer. 

4.) Learning more about Mother Teresa and how she lost faith for a number of years, but will continue on the path of sainthood for her charitable work and evidence of miracles.  So far one miracle has been researched, resulting in her new title Blessed Mother Teresa.  One more miracle is needed for sainthood.

5.) Watching the trailer for the Bob Marley documentary, out on 4/20

6.) Listening to Damian Marley, Nas, and 50 Cent

7.) Rereading the meme Texts from Hillary. Sad it's over, but what a funny tumblr.  Love that Hillz added her own sense of humor of it. 

8.) Eating fried rice from Panda Express with potstickers. Yum! 

Day 316-- Easter Brunch Menu

Happy belated Easter! Without a doubt, Easter is one of my more favorite holidays and it keeps getting better.  I mean, Easter is all about brunch, chocolate, spending the day with people you care about, and a healthy sense of "renew" and "fresh beginnings".  

This Easter I really wanted to make a feast and bring people together.  Here was my menu.

Deviled Eggs with Chives

Prep time: none

Cook time: 25 minutes

Total time: 25

Servings: 4-6

Ingredients

6 large eggs

2 tbsp mayo

1 1/2 tps mustard

a splash of lemon juice

1/2 teaspoon paprika

1/2 teaspoon of chives

This is how you hard boil an egg:  You place your eggs in a pot with 1 inch of cold water on top of them. Bring to a boil, and as soon as it hits the boil point remove the pan from the heat.  Wait about 5 minutes to the water to cool enough to be able to scoop the eggs out with your hands.  Place the eggs in ice water for 1 minute.  Remove from the ice water and crack them slightly.  Place the eggs back in the water for about 5 minutes.  Take the eggs out and remove the shell completely.  There's a slight membrane that slides off easily.  Cut the eggs in half length wise and wiggle the yoke out. Combine the cooked yokes, mayo, mustard, lemon juice, paprika and a small bowl.  Fill the eggs and sprinkle the chives and a few dashes of paprika on top of them.  Done!

Mixed Green Salad with Grapes, Strawberries, and Bacon "Bunny" Ears

Prep time: 10 minutes

Cook time: 5-7 minutes

Total time: about 15 minutes

Servings: 4

Ingredients

Small head of green leaf lettuce

1/4 cup grapes

4 large strawberries

1 avocado

1 cucumber

4 stripes of bacon

Get out 4 small bowls, soup bowls, or use a large cucumber slices to create large rings aka a cucumber bowl.  Fill each bowl with lettuce, a few grapes, 1 strawberry cut into slices, and 1/4 of the avocado cut into cubes.  Start cooking the bacon.  Get a Y-shaped peeler and cut 4 long slices of the cucumber.  Wrap the cucumber slice ends to create 4 rings.  Once the bacon is cook, cut each strip into two pieces.  Once the bacon is cooled, place a cucumber ring on top of each salad bowl and place two pieces of bacon inside the salad popping out of the ring to look like bunny ears.  Done!

Cornish Game Hens with Rosemary and Lemon

Prep time: 20 minutes

Cook time: 1 hour

Total time: 1 hr and 20 minutes

Servings: 4

Ingredients

4 cornish game hens

salt and pepper

1 lemon, quartered

4 springs rosemary

3 tablespoons olive oil

4 cloves of garlic

1/3 cup white wine

1/3 cup low sodium chicken broth

Pull out your hens and clean them with cold water.  Pat dry and leave out for about 10 minutes for them to completely dry out of the water.  Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Once they're dry, rub olive oil all over the hens (this will help with the golden color) and sprinkle generous amounts of salt and pepper.  Stuff each hen with 1 spring of rosemary, 1/4 of a lemon, and 1 clove of garlic.  Arrange in a shallow baking pan.  Bake for 25 minutes.  In a mixing bowl whisk together the white wine, chicken broth, and 2 tblsp of olive oil. Reduce oven to 350 degrees and pour the wine/broth/oil mixture over the hens.  Roast for 25 more minutes, and every 10 minutes baste the hens with the juiced in the pan.  Done!

Cheddar Herb Biscuits

Prep time: 10 minutes

Cook time: 15 minutes

Total time: 25 minutes
Servings: 4-5

Ingredients

2 cups of all purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon sugar

*1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper (if you like a lil kick)

 2 tablespoons fresh chopped chives

1 tablespoon parsley

3/4 cup grated cheddar cheese

1 cup buttermilk

3 tablespoons butter, melted

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line baking sheet with wax paper  In a bowl mix together all of the ingredients until a dough forms.  Use an ice cream scooper to scoop about 12 biscuits onto the baking sheet.  Brush the tops with melted butter.  Place in oven and bake for about 15 minutes.  Done!

Chocolate Covered Strawberries

Prep time: 10-20 minutes (depending on how many strawberries)

Cook time: none

Ingredients

1 large bin of strawberries

2 tubs of dipping chocolate (that hardens to a shell)

Follow the directions of the chocolate tub to melt it.  Mine asked to microwave for two minutes, and stir every 30 seconds.  Dip each strawberry inside the chocolate and lie on a wax paper to dry and harden.  Once all of the strawberries are done, arrange on plate in a pretty spiral.  Done! 

Food review

Excellent.  Everything was just excellent.  I think I'll scale back on the mustard next time for the deviled eggs, and I must be a wimp about cayenne pepper because half of the people eating them didn't notice spice at all.  Otherwise, the hens were absolutely perfect and so were the huge batch of chocolate covered strawberries.  And I was surprised that people liked the salad the best with the surprise use of cucumber, fruits, and bacon.  Lil sweet and salty.

And like what Easter is about.  It seems like many of us have been in our own worlds lately with too much work or not enough work and other outside stresses, and isn't it something how a good meal with the door open seems to bring neighbors and roommates out of the drag and into smiles and shared beer?  I love that.  And I love that we ate on the porch with mixed matched plastic lawn chairs and no tables.  I fucking hate kitchen tables.  And I hate fine china even more.  The way I see it, formality makes people act formal which is unnatural for the kinds of people I like to spend time with.  I've had so many better memories eating food while standing in door frames, or sitting on stairs, or sitting on communal couches.  I like my holidays loud and a little messy, and I think it makes life more fun.  It truly was an enjoyable holiday, and even though I had to work the last half of Easter it was nice being able to show up with plates in my hand for my beezies at the front desk.  Cheers, Happy Cooking, and Happy Spring!

Day 310-- Adventures at Planned Parenthood

"Sterilization" is not usually a menu item I expect to hear when I call a business.  Then again I'm also not accustomed to being offered free lube (don't need it but neat!), not having to pay for birth control, and talking to a receptionist behind bullet-proof glass.

Yes, it's that time of year to renew the old b.c.s and this year I don't have student health insurance.  Where to go?  Planned Parenthood, of course.

I admit I was a little nervous about the whole thing.  I wasn't quite ready to go to a new clinic after having such good experiences with my gynecologists at ASU where they all seem to have bemused non-phased expressions about anything they see.

So I got ready for my appointment this morning and was calmed by the waterfall structure outside the building with the sign "It's more important to be effective than important."  This calm was quickly extinguished once I saw that the receptionist was behind bullet-proof glass.  Really?  Is female reproductive health really so threatening to people that they have to murder receptionists?  Wouldn't you find it weird if you went to the doctor for like, an earache and the person checking you in was in a bullet-proof vest or something?  Turns out I was in the administration building by accident and she directed me to the building around the corner for the actual clinic.

The clinic, by the way, was behind two unmarked black doors tucked away in a building with Enterprise-Rent-A-Car and a gym, and accessibly only through an elevator lined with metal.  Seriously? 

I'm someone who is confident in my sexuality so can only image how terrifying it is for shy women to go to that PP.

Anyway I walk through the two black unmarked doors and lightly smile in line to hid my nervousness. This receptionist didn't have bullet-proof glass but she did have an attitude.  The lobby was tiny so we could all hear what everyone's health problem was.  Lady #1 needed to pick up her prescription, Lady #2 needed the morning after pill, I needed my yearly re-fill of birth control, Lady #3 wanted to get her pills there because she just started a new job and can't apply for their health care yet.  Heath care health care health care.  None of us had it.  And most of the women in the lobby were about 30ish.

As I filled out my paper work I was annoyed at the receptionist and the irony that she was chastising the morning after pill lady for not being responsible in setting up an appointment instead of being a walk-in.  Lady, if she was responsible she wouldn't be getting the morning after pill [laughs].

I was told to go in the back to pee in a cup for STD testing and get my finger pricked for my HIV test. FUCKING HELL it hurt to get my finger pricked.  When I got my last HIV test years ago all they had to do was swipe my inner check with a swab.  WTF? 

Another weird thing about Planned Parenthood, they had clinicians working there, not gynecologists.  I mean, they were able to help me but I guess I was just surprised.

Next up was the nurse who didn't make eye contact with me as she asked me the standard questions of when was my last period, how many partners have I had during the past year, do I do vaginal, oral, anal or all three, is anyone making me do something I don't want to do, have I have contracted an STD, when was my last pap smear, ect.  It was concerning how cold and profession she was.  I answered the questions--all the same healthy answers for the past 5 years.

The clinician came in who looked about 30 years old and male.  I've had a male gyno visit before so I thought I was comfortable with it [actually, my first pap smear was done by a male resident, with a male gyno supervising, and the required female nurse in the room.  I made them all laugh by saying, "I've never had this big of audience in my life!"]. So I don't mind guy doctors, but this guy's age was throwing me off.  He asked his round of questions and I told him the same story.  I've been on Kelnor for the past 3 years and I love it.  No problems.  No issues.  Same partner the past 5 years.  Only using the pill.  Got my last exam last May before graduation when I had student health care.  

I highly recommend Kelnor by the way.  I always start on a Tuesday morning, end by Friday night, with only slight cramping for a few hours, and day 1 is always super light.  

He wrote me a new year's worth of a prescription and told me that my brand isn't covered by PP but I could have free condoms and lube if I needed.  Really?  Free lube?  I mean, that's pretty neat that lube is covered but it seems kinda unnecessary and shouldn't that money be better spent on things like breast cancer treatment or something?

But as I neared the counter they handed me a green card and told me that my income is low enough that I qualify for state funding.  My whole visit was free.

I was further shocked when I went to Target to give them my new prescription for refills and I got my birth control for free.  WHAT? I COULD HAVE BEEN GETTING FREE BIRTH CONTROL THIS WHOLE TIME?!?!  Sweet!  Of course, I know it's not technically free. PP is funding in part by your tax dollars and mine.  So thanks! Lol. 

I admit I felt a little guilty taking the pills for free.  I mean, I am an able bodied person.  And shouldn't guys get some sort of medication equally free?  Or should I listen to my friend Jesús who think women should have free birth control because it helps the men who are their partners in not having children too.  I pay for plenty of things with my taxes as a citizen, like the roads, the sidewalks, the public school system, the prison system, the street lights, ect so I guess it's nice to get something for "free" which benefits my health. 

In conclusion, I am mixed about my experience at Planned Parenthood.  I got my visit for free, I was tested for free (negative for anything), and my birth control for free, so I'm grateful to save about $350 a year.  But they weren't especially nice and I wouldn't want to go for them if I had a health issue.

And it makes me miss my student health care when visiting the gyno was in the same building as the other kinds of doctor.  And I miss my favorite gynecologist who cared about safe sex and well-being sex.  She was always cheerful and open and with a wave of her hand was the 1st doctor to tell me we didn't need to use condoms anymore since we were tested and I was on the pill.  She also helped me with an article I was writing for class about vajazzling and told me that 90% of all of her patients shave some or all of their pubic hair and this number has increased the past 20 years.  She was also confident that I can be pregnant one day despite my tiny size and wanted to warn my friends and I that using thongs too frequently can cause yeast infections.  She's the reason I know that the longer you stay on a certain type of birth control pill the more effective it becomes, and she would never let me leave her office without reminding me to use the bathroom or squat after sex to flush out fluid to prevent infections, and to consider taking a multivitamin as I got older. I guess that's the trade-off when you pay for health care vs free health care and I'm not sure which is better.

Oh well!  For now I'm safe, healthy, didn't have to spend any money today, and I have two new packs in the drawer ready to go.  All in all, a successful day.  :)

Day 309-- Springaling

Time to bust out the black-rimmed glasses, double douses of Claritin, and extra water--it's allergy season.  Or maybe working a back-to-back shift as a favor to a co-worker was a shitty decision for my sleep-wrecked body and I'm sick.  Whatevs. Happy April everyone!

So much to talk about, and so many entries in draft, like Chasing the White Russian, My First Trip to Planned Parenthood, Fun Facts About Female Sexuality, My Easter Brunch Menu, and possibly a movie review of The Hunger Games if my beezy co-worker doesn't flake on me again, and maybe a play (in book form) review on The Ice Man Cometh which took me forever to finish.

So without further ado here are some thoughts on this Wednesday:

Call your old friends today.  Um, like now, lazy bum: 

I love when my oldies/besties call me and these past few days have been no exception. I had such a good laugh as one of them told me about this awful non-date she went on with a surprise Jesus-freak.  She: "He told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship because he was already in a relationship with God." Me: "He might be in a relationship with God but his dick isn't."  She'll be writing about it herself so I won't go too into it, but lemme tell you fellas out there, preaching on a first date that God already knows who your wife and children will be comes across as Law and Order: SVU-style creepy.

And it was good to hear from my other friend whose German friends were once again in the States and how they oddly love in Arizona.  My friend is doing well over there with the good pay and excitement of visits and going to her friend's bridal showers and her bf landing that job he wanted (though now he's more busy) and such and such, and it makes me more than a lil proud on how happy and solid she's become holding it down in our town.  

And it was such a relief to talk to them about shit over here.  As I described it to one of them, "It feels a lot like the last few months of high school when you know that change will be happening, and life will be changing, and you'll be moving to a new place and new things, and some days you're ready and excited about it, and other days you're sad and definitely not ready just yet."  The truth is, I still really love it in San Diego and the "dirt and licorice sticks and candle wax" of living this kind of life, but I can't shake the itch that this isn't the right place for me and I just have to go.  I just have to move to Portland when my lease is up in July. And maybe it's a pipe dream and I'll absolute hate it and I'll be floundering there just as much as here.  But I have to find out.

And of course, the situation with the bf.  On the day-to-day I'm still really happy with him.  He's honestly the only person who makes me laugh heartily, and I still enjoy holding hands and going on adventures and our long conversations that span for hours, and on the short term I'm happy.  It's that future thing.  As I told them, I've never really known what I wanted to do in life but it's starting to become more in focus.  I want to go to grad school, I want to get a masters, I want to live in Oregon, I want to work in communications, I might just want a PhD and what the hell, why not become a professor one day, and I want that life.  And it's not that my boyfriend's life is wrong or bad in some way, it's just not my future.  The money situation keeps getting worse with him.  "And I don't want a situation where it's 5 years in the future and we share a mortgage and he can't pay rent.  Or it's 5 years in the future and my boyfriend's getting arrested because his shop got raided."  

So really the thing I'm struggling with is my own personal philosophy: DON'T GET INTO A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE OVER SOMETHING THAT HASN'T HAPPENED YET.  It's like if I got angry with you for not calling me back a month from now.  What?  Exactly.  It hasn't happened yet, so it's ridiculous to argue with you about it.  But with a boyfriend and the future does become an issue.

My besties were great.  The Miranda-one was simple and short: Go to Portland for you, and tell him if he gets his shit together then give you a call.  And my Charlotte-one with her hope and female empowerment was supportive of me going up to OR at the end of July because hey, 'you said you'd give it a year and you did.  You said you'd try and you did.  And it was a good experience for you with the internship and living with a boyfriend for awhile and doing what you'd say you'd do.  So there's no need for regret.  And if he gets his shit together and comes with you then it was meant to be.  If not, it was still good experience and moving opens up new opportunities.'

I don't want to regret this.  I want it to be the right choice.  Every major decision I've made in my life has been half-ass and I want my next ones to be 100% what I want.  But like high school, there is no way of knowing what the future would be like until I'm in it.  And like my boyfriend said, you fully progress until you've left your current level and are at a higher one. What I like about old friends is that they make big things so much more causal. And like she said, moving always brings new opportunities.  I've forgotten about that in living here and getting comfortable.

And in talking to them I'm reminded of just how young we are.  They've lived about 3-5 lives since I've met them (me too), so isn't it true that we have so much living ahead? So cheers to old friends, and call yours first thing!