Day 319 (b)-- How to Lie to People, or, Comrades in the Service Industry

Late on a weekday the Canadian was sitting cross-legged on the semi-dirty kitchen floor with a heavy glass of wine in her hand.  I was in pjs leaning in the door frame, almost as weary after my almost 8.5+ hour shift at the hotel to her 10 hour shift serving at a restaurant. 

We exchanged notes about our day and shared a laugh at how well we lie.

Lie:  "Sorry that took a little longer, we were brewing a fresh pot of coffee for you."

Truth: I totally forgot about your coffee.

Lie: "Sorry we don't have any rooms ready just yet.  We sold out last night and housekeeping going on overdrive right now. Check-out isn't until 12 so we still have tons of people to kick out before we can clean your room (said jokingly)."

Truth: Housekeeping's at lunch.

Lie: Your kids are so cute!

Truth:  Assertive kids usually mean one of two things: (1) the kids are super cool and we enjoy talking to them and admiring their maturity. Or (2) these kids are terrors and will be the whole time. If the kid wanted chicken fingers two minutes and is now throwing a tantrum that she doesn't want chicken fingers anymore, please handle your child in public and stop asking her what she wants; she's 6; just order for her. On the other hand, if your kid is asking me for help about how to work the wi-fi on his computer I'm really proud of his mature confidence, but I am a little worried why you the parent are in your room letting your 10-year roam free and when I call your phone you sound strung-out on drugs.

Lie: We like all customers/guests equally.

Truth: Some stereotypes are true. There are certain groups who don't tip and other groups who constantly have no money on their credit cards.

Lie: We give everyone a fair chance to change their attitude.

Truth: Our instincts are usually dead on. If you seem like a bitch or an asshole you probably will be the whole time. We can usually figure out if you're going to complain to us or to the manager within the first impression. On my end, I rarely get creepy vibes from guests so when I do, I pay fucking attention and guess what, so do the rest of the staff. If you have a vibe that you may be a criminal or a predator the whole front desk is watching you and talking about you behind your back.

I have only felt afraid of one woman the whole time I've worked in the service industry which was extremely strange for me. There was a blankness about her, a deadness in how she stared at me. I felt a twinge of violence I haven't felt in years and wondered if perhaps the woman was an alcoholic or drug addict which would explain the darkness I couldn't identify. My co-worker felt something off about her as well. The next day she briefly lost her daughter and left her son, who didn't know how to swim, by himself at the pool. My co-worker who is also a part-time lifeguard went to the pool and thought that the woman might be a scam artist. Very strange.

Lie:  Any time we apologize about something that's not our fault. Sorry it's rainy outside and you decided to eat lunch on the patio. Sorry our room heaters only go to about 75, and not 85 like you like it. Sorry you don't like the French toast and you can't tell me why. Sorry you missed the shuttle to the park because you were just 3 minutes late.

Truth:  You wouldn't be happy even it was sunny, you room hot, you liked food like normal people, and you were on time. You like being miserable and shitty things happening to you because it confirms that you're right and they rest of us are idiots.

Lie: We pretend not to notice.

Truth:  We notice that you're unhappy in your marriage but your husband doesn't know. We notice your child runs the family. We notice that work is stressing you out. We notice that your sick. We notice that you're lonely. We notice that you're nervous. We notice that this meal, this vacation will be a memory for you.  We notice that you're a good person. We notice.