Day 61--Muse and Rage Against the Machine concert review

Somewhere after 5 and a half hours of LA traffic, missing the entire set of Lauryn Hill and half of Rise Against, and discovering that our seats were 3 rows from the back of the motherfucking back of the Coliseum, my boyfriend and I sat on the concrete steps high enough to watch the Downtown LA at sunset.  We laughed about it all as he drank his $9 beer and I munched on my $3 M&Ms. 

The sky darkened and Muse's green laser lights flooded the field. 

I'm a Twilight-soundtrack-roadtrip Muse fan, meaning, if their songs are nestled between some other good shit I'm going to rock out in my car, but I wouldn't listen to them by themselves.  To me, Muse = Coldplay + harder drums + glam rocker voice + more allusions to the stars and moons.  But I'll tell you this: they really do care about putting on a spectacle show.

The green laser lights that covered the whole 100,000 person Coliseum were awesome, and the use of shooting steam to act as intense columns were a sick visual to end one of their songs.  Singer Matthew Bellamy was giving it his all, and he and his fellow guitar mate Christopher Tony Wolstenholme had a nice report with the light show illuminating them as opposing forces with their sound.  

Still, in the crowd setting of black leather jackets and fishnets, it was suddenly very obvious to me that they are not rockers--they're alternative hipsters playing with louder toys.  They tried their best to be edgy, but if you actually listen to them, they're just louder in earnestness.  I enjoyed them, and if the happen to be in a future lineup, I wouldn't mind seeing them again, but I wouldn't seek them out.

Despite what the poster says, LA Rising was first and foremost a Rage Against the Machine show, and the crowd was buzzing as they waited for them to take the stage.  The lights dimmed and video reel played of their history in the 90s as being anarchists metal heads unhappy with the state of the world, and how they've grown into more political activism through the years.  The music started and the whole field turned into circles of moshing.

My first thought: holy fuck, who is that lead singer?  I have never witnessed such a ferocious whirlwind of energy from a performer.  He spit in the mike fucking hard, he ran across that stage fucking hard, he jumped in the air fucking hard, he brought this ball of fire to the crowd and they fucking ate it up.  

Before this show I knew all of 3 Rage songs and nothing about them.  I didn't realize that they were one of the first front-runners of the rap-metal sound and were a part of the Rodney King grunge/metal/rap scene during the riots of LA.  I might not particularly like the shrill of the Zack de la Rocha's voice, but I can respect what they as a band mean to LA and that energy of pissed-off Americans under the system.

I may never see Muse or Rage Against the Machine again, and I sure as fuck won't be heading back to the LA Coliseum again, but if you're a fan of either bands, you will not be disappointed with the heat and spit of Rage and the earnest anthems of Muse.  Be sure to bring a black shirt. 

   

Day 58-- Spiced orange incense and life updates

This room still smells delicious from the vanilla candles and spiced orange and sandalwood incense. I'll leave it to your imagination as to what I was up to this afternoon with the bf ;)

Today has been a real nice shade of lovely.  I applied for a hotel job a little bit ago, I finished a book before breakfast, I'm not stressed about the internship interview next week, I bought a bar of my favorite dark chocolate, and I still have a few hours in the day to do some online fall fashion homework.

During my daily walk I thought that maybe it's time for an general life update versus my stand-alone posts as of late.  Here is goes:

Job/career: 

Two weeks ago I updated my Cafe Resume and applied for a coffee shop job near-ish by.  Never heard back. Last week I bought two writers magazines and a publishing reference guide for freelance+publishing suggestions. This weekend I updated my Publishing Cover Letter and Publishing Resume.  On Monday I applied for an internship with a San Diego book publisher.  I heard back immediately and have an interview next week.  And today I applied for a hotel job and will apply for more by the end of the weekend.

My current thoughts are: (1) pursue book publishing, (2) get a flexible part-time decent paying job like hotel reception where I can eventually get benefits, travel perks, and an easy state-to-state transfer next year if I'm still working there. (3) Freelance my fiction and news articles by mid-Fall.  (4) pursue magazine writing as internship.  (5) By Spring decide for sure if it's books or magazines that I want to seriously pursue, and probably move to Oregon.

Exercise via yoga and jogging:

I've been super good with my walking.  I walk about 1-2 miles everyday, and when my boyfriend joins me we sometimes go for about 2-5.  I've jogged exactly once in two months, but I've enjoyed walking far more.  I've decided to sign up for yoga on the 1st.

Diet:

As you may have been reading from previous posts or the FOOD tab, I've been getting into cooking.  I cook a meal about 2-3 times a week--always with meat and veggies.  I need to get much better with my fruit intake though, and I might start up a vitamin routine when I find a vitamin tablet I like.

Fashion:

Bad luck so far.  I now have an interview outfit and heels, but that's about it.  After trying on clothes after clothes I think I'm giving up on looking for summer stuff and focusing more on Autumn style.  My current wants are: a smart gray dress with pink heels, a tight blue flannel long-sleeve shirt with a snug blue or black v-neck sweater on top of it, knee-high socks with brown boots and short skirt, a short jacket/coat--preferably non-black/white/gray, and some v-neck t-shirts and gemmed tanks to have under a black suit jacket.

Living situation/making friends:

Still at the bf's, which has gotten much cozier.  I think the brownies and rice crispie treats I've been making might have something to do with it, haha.  I almost left to sublet for a month and share a room just to be somewhere new and not spend too much money, but no one liked the idea so I'm still here.  No new friends yet, but I met some cool people at a party last week. 

General outlook:

Good.  I feel like my life plans are still a bit scattered and hazy in my head, but they're slowly coming into focus and I'm liking how things are shaping up.  If I could nab the internship and a job in the next week or two I feel like I'll be right on track.

Anyways, that's what up on Day 58!

Day 56 -- Café Playlist

As you can probably tell from my recent posts, I've been in a very classic mood lately.  Classic movies, classic dresses, and yes, I've been listening to some very classy music.  Here's my café /rainy day/brunch mix:

1.) "Caramel" ~ Suzanne Vega

2.) "Pyro" ~ Kings of Leon

3.) "Redemption Song" ~ Bob Marley

4.) "Gatekeeper" (Full Mix) ~ Feist

5.) "Green Eyes" ~ Coldplay

6.)  "A Kiss to Build a Dream On" ~ Louis Armstrong

7.) "Girl From Ipanema" ~Astrud Gilberto and Stan Getz

8.) "Everlasting Light" ~ The Black Keys

9.) "Holes to Heaven" ~ Jack Johnson

10.) "If It Hadn't Been for Love" ~ Adele

11.) "Koop Island Blues" ~ Koop

12.) "Fever" ~ Peggy Lee

13.) "Our Love Is Here to Stay" ~Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong

14.) "No Woman No Cry" ~ Bob Marley

15.) "Bang Bang" ~ Dispatch

16.) "Birthday" ~ Kings of Leon

17.) "Sleep" ~ Azure Ray

18.) "How Come You Don't Call Me" ~Alicia Keys

19.) "Flight Attendant" ~ Josh Rouse

20.) "The End" ~Kings of Leon

21.) "Bartender Song" ~ Rehab

22.) "Hearing Damage" ~Thom Yorke

23.) "Killing Me Softly" ~The Fugee

24.) "Trouble Sleeping" ~Corinne Bailey Rae

25.) "The General" ~ Dispatch

26.)  "All Apologies" ~Nirvana

27.) "VCR" ~ The XX

28.) "What's Going On" ~ Marvin Gaye 

29.) "Nothing Better" ~ The Postal Service 

30.) "Life in Technicolor" ~ Coldplay

Day 55-- Cat on a Hot Tin Roof movie review

There are two times I like to watch classic movies: by myself during a weekend brunch, or a dinner/dessert night with the boyfriend or the girls.  The powerful but slow-paced Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958) is definitely a rainy brunch sort of movie.

Starring Elizabeth Taylor as Maggie and Paul Newman as Brick, these two forces of nature bring to life the Tennessee Williams play to cinema, and they do so with the ferocity of two actors clawing their way out of the muck of stereotypes.

Taylor embodies the sensuous and feisty Maggie with an earnest candor that earned her her second Academy Award nomination.  At this point in Taylor's career audiences were used to seeing her as a pretty face with a voluminous body.  Maggie was her further proof that she could actually act, and that Raintree County wasn't a fluke.  Newman was in a similar position in 1958, and with his brooding and emotionally ugly Brick, Newman found his ticket to better roles and more respect (he too earned an Academy Award nom).  It's the difference between Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie, between Mathew McConaughey and Brad Pitt.  The right movie changes everything.

And they did it with style.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof takes place on warm Southern day of Brick's father's (Big Daddy) birthday.  Three emotional thunderstorms are brewing as the liquor pours and tempers rises.  Brick and Maggie's marriage is in full destruction mode as Brick will not sleep with Maggie nor can stand being around her (for reasons unknown until later).  Big Daddy, a boisterous and callous man is coming to terms with his cancer and immediate mortality.  And the greedy eldest son and his meddling wife are embattled with family over the estate once Big Daddy is gone.

This is a simmering fight of mendacity versus the truth, love versus guilt, and will versus stubbornness. 

Plays are hard to translate onto screen, and despite the best acting of the main and supporting characters, this movie has the restricted feel of only 5 set changes and 6 characters (not including the annoying children).  It also has the unfortunate of saying a lot but not saying anything profound or surprising.  This is a portrait of a family where none of members particularity like each other.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is brilliantly acted, but it's a slow burn that will quickly lose short attention spans.

Do yourself a favor and the next time it's raining out and you're nursing a cup of spiked coco, check this movie out and prepare for the slow dazzle of hot emotions in a tight space and time. 

Day 54-- Beef and Bell Pepper Kabobs and Cheesy Potato Skins recipes

Prologue:

Sunday nights are my favorite cooking nights, since my boyfriend and I tend to make a big meal to eat before or during True Blood.  Tonight's menu was Beef and Bell Pepper Kabobs and Cheesy Potato skins.  He took care of the beef kabobs and I took care of the potato skins.  If you chose to cook them together as a meal like we did, pay attention to the cook times and start the potatoes first.  For that reason I'm listing them first.

Cheesy Potato Skins

Prep time: 5 minutes + 10ish minutes later

Cook time: 40 minutes + 5 minutes

Total time: 1 hour 5 minutes

Servings: 3-4

Ingredients:

4 brown potatoes (try to use rounder ones)

11/2 cups sharp cheddar cheese

3 slices of bacon

1/4 of a red bell pepper

1/2 of an onion

1 clove of garlic

3 teaspoons of butter

Directions:

1.) Pre-heat the oven to 425 degrees, after washing your potatoes, place them directly on the rack and cook for 40 minutes.

[at the 30 minutes mark, start the beef kabobs.  They should take about 30 minutes start to finish]

2.) As your potatoes cook start chopping up your 3 slices of bacon.  Place in a pan around minute 30 of your potatoes cooking.  While that cooks, chop up your 1/4 of red bell and half an onion (use the rest of them for either kabobs or an omelet in the morning).

3.) Once the bacon is done add the onion, bell pepper, and garlic to the pan and cook until the veggies are soft and cooked all the way through.  Meanwhile, grate your cheese to make about 1-11/2 cups worth.

4.) Once you can stick a fork through a potato without resistance take them out and place on a cutting board.  Cut them all in half and let cool for a little bit.

5.) Once the veggies and bacon bits are cooked bring the pan over to the cutting board.  Cut the halves of the potatoes in half.  Scoop out about 3/4 of the inside of the wedges, and squeeze them a little to make better boat shapes.  *CAUTION*  Will be fucking hot.  Anyway.  Butter the insides with a tad bit of butter inside each wedge.

6.)  Spoon in the veggie/bacon mix into each potato skin and add the cheese on top once done.

7.) Stick back into the oven until the cheese is fully melted.  Done!

Beef and Bell Pepper Kabobs

Prep time: 15 minutes

Cook time: 15 minutes

Servings: 4 kabobs (2-3 people)

Ingredients:

1 pound good steak, preferably top sirloin.

1/2 of an onion

1 green bell pepper

1 red bell pepper

salt and pepper

4 wooden or metal skewers

Directions:

1.) Cut into the bell peppers and remove the seeds.  Dispose of the top.  Once done, cut the bell peppers into rough 1 inch squares.  We prefer the red and green bell peppers for color sake, but feel free to use orange or yellows instead.

2.) Cut the onion layers into rough 1 inch squares as well.

3.)  Cut the steak into 1 inch squares and generously season with salt and pepper..

4.) Get out your skewers and alternate sliding down meat, sliding down onion pieces, sliding down peppers, sliding down meat. (this is called "threading" in cooking terms).  You should have about 4 pieces of steak per skewer.

5.) Get out a large frying pan and drizzle some olive oil.  Place the kabobs in the pan and turn occasionally until cooked.  Done!  

Review:

Kabobs are an excellent way of mixing things up for dinner.  They're attractive to look at and even more delicious to eat.  As I mentioned in a previous post, when it comes to steak, pick the good stuff.  I don't care how much you season or marinate, you can't hide a bad steak.  If you're making steak, pick some motherfucking good steak!  You deserve it!  Yummy.... 

I'm glad I tried the cheesy potato skins.  I used medium cheddar cheese, which wasn't quite right, therefore I recommended in the ingredients list to use sharp cheddar like the recipes I've seen online.  The bell pepper and bacon added a real nice flavor.  Cheesy potato skins aren't fooling anybody--they aren't healthy.  But when's the last time you made them at home?...Haha, didn't think so.  I can't wait for left-overs tomorrow! 

Overall I really loved dinner, loved my boyfriend cooking next to me as we listened to Rihanna and Kings of Leon, and loved the latest True Blood episode.  Does Eric have to get his memory back?  I prefer the new Eric.  But that's a whole 'nother entry.  Peace out and happy eats!

Day 53-- A day of new

There's beer pong happening in our kitchen and I've stolen a few minutes away to write this post.

Today has been a day of new.  This morning we had candidates visit the house in efforts to become the new roommate.  One girl, one guy, two new personalities trying to vie for a chance to live here.

This afternoon I ate Vietnamese steak phở for the first time, and absolutely loved the ginger and basil spiced soup and the thin noodles hidden beneath the tasty steak.  I also had a fried shrimp for the first time in....ever?  You need to understand that I don't eat seafood, and not for lack of trying.  Apparently if it's fried enough I can't taste the fishy flavor and can actually enjoy it!  

 

In the later part of the afternoon one of the roommates hosted a party and I got to meet some new people, and all whom I greatly enjoyed.  It was a real treat to hang out with the new grads in the living room, eating good food, drinking good drinks, watching movies with our humorous debates and talking to each other about life after college.  Compare us to the blackout drunk and beer pong of 20-21 year olds in the back.  There are definitely days I feel 23, lol.

In the last part of day my boyfriend and I hit up the ATM and after I heard heckles from some guys in the apartments across the parking lot with their commentary about us being watched by the cameras or whatever, I pulled my boyfriend close and had quite a hefty PDA with a little tongue, which finished with him picking me up and carrying me away.  Hope you enjoyed the show, assholes.

On the way home we mobbed down the pier to catch the sunset.  We've done this a number of times, but this was the first time we watched it with me actually living here.  And it was delightful.

A day of new setting into night.  I should probably head out there now.  I hope someone brought some chips.

Day 51-- Charade movie review

You haven't been to college if you didn't own a Audrey Hepburn poster, or had a roommate who did.  Chances are, Breakfast at Tiffany's is the only Audrey Hepburn movie you've seen, and Charade is the perfect movie to change this.

I was perusing Hulu last night when I stumbled upon Hepburn's 1963 classic Charade.  In truth, the reason I had even heard of it was due to a New York Times piece on revisiting this classic and pondering why on earth it's been so forgotten.  I wholly agree with their confusion.

Charade is a highly clever, witty, sexy, twisty mystery comedy that's a true lost gem in cinema.  Audrey Hepburn stars as Regina Lampert, a new widow of Charles Lampert who we quickly find out, isn't all that he seems.  Very quickly three ex-CIA thugs are on Mrs.Lampert's trail, for they believe Charles has stolen $250,000 and Regina is hiding the cash.

Cary Grant enters the picture as Peter Joshua, a charming gentleman who comes to the aid of Regina's welfare, if not for something more.  Grant and Hepburn are in a league of their own with their stylish banter and flirtatious situations.  In the first scene that they met each other Peter coyly asks, 'We don't know each other, do we?" Reggie: Why? Do you think we're going to? Peter: I don't know -- how would I know? Reggie: Because I already know an awful lot of people; until one of them dies, I couldn't possibly meet anyone else. Peter [smiling]: Mmm. Well, if anyone goes on the critical list, let me know. [he starts off] Reggie: Quitter!

Regina and Peter stroll the streets and nightclubs of Paris between fight scenes and comic interludes with the three would-be assassins, all the while trying to find the huge sum of money that everyone, including the French government and the CIA want their hands on.

This is the kind of movie where the criminals have allergies, where Hepburn can battle wits with the killers in a little black dress while sharing the same hotel as them, where Grant is just as handsome showering in a suit as he is battling on a roof top with a clawed assassin, and where the plot surprises about Charles and his goons leave Regina more charmed than baffled (this is elegant Hepburn of course).

From the opening sequence with its sensual tango theme, to the twisty witty plot, to the very end with its stylish conclusions, Charade is thoroughly enjoyable martini of a film, filled with sweet charm and a little bite.

Here are some more of my favorite quotes from the film:

Reggie Lampert: Is there a Mrs. Joshua?
Peter Joshua: Yes, but we are divorced.
Reggie Lampert: Oh, that wasn't a proposal. I'm just curious.

Peter Joshua: Is there a Mr. Lampert?
Reggie Lampert: Yes.
Peter Joshua: Good for you.
Reggie Lampert: No it isn't, I'm getting a divorce.
Peter Joshua: Please! Not on my account.
 

Reggie Lampert: Here it comes, the fatherly talk. You forget I'm already a widow.
Peter Joshua: Well, so was Juliet, at fifteen.
Reggie Lampert: I'm not fifteen.
Peter Joshua: Well, that's your trouble. You're too old for me. 

Reggie: Do you know what's wrong with you?

Peter: No, what? 

Reggie: Nothing!

Day 49 -- Lasagna recipe

Prologue:

I'll be writing an entry in a few days about "what's cheaper: cooking at home or eating out?", and this recipe is the perfect example.  Lasagna isn't overly expensive, but it's not cheap either.  If you have none of the ingredients, prepare for a $20-25 meal; if you already have some cheese, bacon, milk, a few cans of chopped tomatoes, and herbs in your kitchen, then you'll just need to spare $7 for a carrot, lasagna noodles, an onion, and ground beef.  And let me say, $7 to feed up to 6 people is well worth it.

This recipe was inspired by What to Cook and How to Cook It, but I made so many changes, it's pretty much my own recipe.

Homemade Lasagna

Prep time: 20 minutes

Stew time: 1 hour

Cook time: 40 minutes

Servings: 4-6

Ingredients:

1 onion

1 large carrot

1-1.5 pounds ground beef

7 slices of bacon

2 cans of chopped tomatoes

1 clove garlic

basil leaves

salt and pepper

2/3 cup Parmesan cheese

1/3 cup Mozzarella cheese

11/2 cups milk

2 tbsp butter

*celery optional 

*can of sliced black olives optional

Directions:

1.) Get a large pot and starting browning the ground beef on medium heat.  In the meantime, start chopping your carrot and onion (and the celery if you like it) into very fine pieces.  If you have a food processor the process will go faster. 

2.) Chop up your slices of bacon into very small pieces and begin to fry in a pan until cooked.  Transfer the bacon to a plate and throw away the bacon grease.  Place the chopped vegetables in the pan and cook until soft. Put the bacon back into the pan with the veggies and stir around for flavor.

3.) By this time your ground beef should be cooked, if not, cook at a little higher heat.  You can drain the water if you want to, I didn't have that much so I left it in. 

4.) Combine the veggies and bacon into the pot of beef, and add the canned tomatoes, garlic, torn up basil leaves, and salt and pepper. Leave on medium or low heat for an hour.

[While things are cooking are my favorite time to prep the next step, the side dishes, and do dishes]

5.) Get out a small pan and combine the milk, butter, and grated Parmesan cheese.  You can add some flour to make it thicker, I personally chose not to.

6.) Turn on the oven to 350 degrees and get out a casserole dish.  Mine is a 3 quart glass one.

7.) Use a slotted spoon (a plastic spoon with holes) to scoop up the meat stew and make a layer inside of the dish. Drizzle a healthy layer of the cheese sauce over this. If you like black olives, sprinkle a few over this layer.  Take out your lasagna sheets and make a layer on top of everything.  Repeat the process with the meat > cheese > black olives > lasagna sheets. Top the whole dish with a thick layer of shredded mozzarella. For looks, sprinkle some basil leaves and black olives. 

8.) Cook for 40 minutes and when a knife can go through without resistance then it's done!

[I served mine with a side salad and garlic bread] 

Review:

I honestly can't remember the last time I ate lasagna.  7th grade, maybe?  I was really impressed with how it turned out and went back for seconds (as did my boyfriend's roommate).  There were two faults like I could find: (1) the top pasta layer was cooked, but crispy instead of soft, and (2) it was a little slippery between the meat and the pasta due to the sauce, but I can't remember if this is normal for lasagna.  Overall though, I very much enjoyed it.  I don't know if I'd make it again anytime soon, but for a winter dish on a movie night I definitely will consider it.

Day 46-- I love bookstores

In my post-Harry Potter depression (I still get chocked up just thinking about it) I've been even more withdrawn than usual.  On the beach today I got another "you need to get your shit together" lecture from my boyfriend over the fact that I've been here for 6 weeks without a job, a place of my own to live, and no friends.  Mini argument later...and I packed up my notebook and laptop and headed off to the books.

Some people have church, some people have home, I have bookstores. No matter my mood or shit going on in my life, if I enter the sanctuary of a large bookstore I can be anyone else.  I can be a person of culture in the art or history section.  I can be a person of adventure in the travel section.  I can be moody in the poetry aisle.  Maybe I'm breezy and find myself in the chick lit or teen rows.  On an average day I'm in the buy one, get one 50% off table, balancing all of my personalities to find two that fit me.

Today was particularly productive.  First up was the Reference Section for books about the book publishing industry.  Since the internet was so piss-poor and I wasn't able to research the book publishers (all 2) in San Diego, so I decided that a general knowledge of the industry as a whole would be helpful.  

Jeff Herman's Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, and Literary Agents [2011] is a mammoth reference guide and first rate. It's about 1,000+ pages and sectioned off by Conglomerate Book Publishers, Independent Book Publishers, University Book Publishers, Literary Agent profiles and questionaires, and some more helpful hints for budding authors.  

The publishing houses are labeled with location, editor names, what they've published, what genres they publish in, and if the info is available, how big their staff is.  The literary agents are profiled similarly in who the agent has published, who they work for, what genres they are looking for, and tips in how to contact them.  Overall, it's an extremely usual book for writers and wannabe publishers alike.

From there I started browsing Amy Einsom's The Copyeditor's Handbook, which is a refresher on all things grammar, as well as tips on how to edit with comments both on paper and through word docs.  I think I'll review my Elements of Style before I buy this one. 

I also glanced through Publishing in Magazines for Dummies, which provides tips for freelance writing.  Most of it was info I learned in college, but the query letter forms are something I don't remember.

I needed a break so I  headed to the cooking section.  I am in deep lust with cookie books these days.  As I said in a previous entry, I do not understand why so many cookbooks don't include pictures of the finished product.  Seriously, why?  This is why I love Southern Living's Best Loved Cookies.  There is a picture for every cookie, and it only contains 50 recipes.  I tend to prefer smaller cookbooks, for it's more of a goal to bake all of them.  For example, would you be more inclined to learn 30-50 new words by owning a dictionary with 10,000 words or a small word-a-day book?  Exactly.

Then again...Taste of Home: Cookies (620 recipes) looked pretty tasty too.  Honestly I'd make 400 of those cookies.  The book also has a brownie, bar, and holiday section.  This Lemon Basil Butter Cookies caught my eye since my basil plant has been sitting outside all lonely.

Next up was the best-selling fiction section.  After reading Tana French's In the Woods, I've been wanting to read her new Faithful Place book.  This would be her 4th book so I imagine that her suspense is just as good or better than Woods, and hopefully she's learned some things about characterization.

I have two book traditions I've upheld fairly decently: (1) I read a Chuck Klosterman or Jon Krakauer book every summer and (2) I read an assigned-reading classic.  Krakauer doesn't have anything new, and the bookstore was out of Dying to Live: a 85% True Story, so I didn't leave with one of them.  I was in between buying The Red Badge of Courage or To Kill a Mockingbird.  I'll probably go with Mockingbird next time the store coupon is better.

As I continued to peruse the store I stumbled upon some stationary/goodies that for once I actually like.  I tend to have a thing against that shit since it's always overpriced and non-book related, but this stuff I'd actually want (for about $10 cheaper).  

Talk about brilliant capitalism, Paddywax have these soy candles based on famous authors.  There's the Walt Whitman candle (grass, thyme, and red clover), the Jane Austen candle (gardenia, tuberose,and jasmine), the Edgar Allen Poe candle (cardamom, absynthe, and sandalwood), and the Oscar Wilde candle (cedarwood, thyme, and basil). I was pretty much in love with Poe's scent, and gardenias in Austen's scent are my favorite smelling flower.

I also spotted some vintage magnets and postcards on the table that wouldn't mind having.


And so my trip to the bookstore was winding down and I found myself in sitting down in Poetry reading some Plath.  I'm a huge fan of Plath, though I only own her Bell Jar and a few selected poems.  She's frightfully brutal in her imagery, but given her state of mind I honestly believe that she felt the horror versus writer who use shock for shock's sake. 

Well this entry sure is long and doesn't much, lol.  Anyway, that was my trip to the bookstore.

Day 45-- Harry Potter 7 p.2 review

*SPOILERS* 

Outside a crowded movie theater in San Diego, California with temperatures a little low for the my liking, my tears started welling as soon I saw people of all ages and races standing in line hours before midnight wearing funny cloaks and hats with more than a few In-N-Out wrappers in their hands.

People love Harry Potter for all sorts of reasons, whether it's for the magic, or the battle between heroes and villains, or mysteries, or friendship, or epic adventures.  But the crux of Harry Potter is in that first movie and those first few pages.  It's when Harry, living a rather miserable to normal life, is told that he is a wizard--that he is special and magical and destined for great things.  

Standing together in our funny robes and Gryffindor ties, we too are special and magical, if only for a few collective moments.  For 10 magical years of film and 13 years of readings, Harry Potter created a family between strangers and imagination in those still willing to believe.  Today we said goodbye to our hero, to our shared childhoods, and in a way, a collective reckoning that it's time for us to graduate from Hogwarts too.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part 2 started off slightly jumpy than the last one, as it ended mid-action last November.  The story was quickly refreshed that Harry and his best friends Ron and Hermione are on the hunt for horcuxes, objects in which darkest of evil Voldemort has stored pieces of his soul.  Kill all of the horcruxes, kill Voldemort.  In the meantime there is the issue of the Deathly Hollows which are (1) the invisibility cloak (2) the resurrection stone and (3) the elder wand, the most powerful wand ever created.  Whoever owns all three can concur death.  Harry possess the cloak, Voldemort is now in possession of the wand.

Other reviewers will give a more polished view on the plot and the like, but here is mine at 5am Friday morning after a 1am showtime. 

I'll admit that the trip to Gringotts to destroy one of the horcruxes in Bellatrix Lestrange's vault seemed overplayed.  Compared to the rest of the movie, the pacing seemed off and more fitting for Part 1. But I wonder if it was done more as an homage to the first few scenes of the very first Harry Potter movie back in 2001, and a last deep breathe before the manic race to the end.

Very quickly Harry and the gang are off to Hogwarts find the last known remaining horcrux, the Diadem of Ravenclaw, and get a Basilisk fang to destroy the Cup of Hufflepuff.  That shining moment of hope when Harry enters Hogwarts one more time with the Potter theme songs cuing up left me with salty tears falling at rapid speed.  Much has been written about Daniel Radcliff's transformation as an actor from his age 11 to now 22, and I heartily agree.  He plays Harry as a grown-up leader still capable of humor and faults, but with utmost dignity to do what is expected of him.  He is ready.

Can I say that I'm Team McGonagall?  I loved how the magic crackled around her as she summoned the whole castle to prepare itself for Voldemort's attack.  For me, the most poignant scene of the film happened then as the professors lifted their wands together to build a ward around the school.  It felt like they were protecting all of us from the attack of the real world to come as their last offers as teachers.  It was a last hug from your mom, the last handshake from a professor, the last part of the hero's journey when the elders do what they can for you before you must rise above and fend for yourself as a new adult. 

Kudos for the sheer chaos of war that director Yates created inside and outside of Hogwarts as the students prepared to fight as Harry, Ron, and Hermione hunted the horcruxes from within the chambers of the school.

I have never been a fan of Ron and Hermione's romantic relationship but even I wanted to join the claps for their first kiss perfectly timed between the crazy and the calm.

For the life of me, I cannot remember the Gray Lady from the books, and she pretty much pissed me off her whole scene.  There's a goddamn war outside, ghost lady, tell Harry where the horcrux is and get on with it.  I have to say though, I fucking love Luna Lovegood for her perfect stoner logic, "If no ones alive has seen it, shouldn't you ask someone who's dead?".  My boyfriend is convinced she has a grow closet in Hogwarts.

The battle of Hogwarts was shot in a way I never would have expected.  I liked that it was outside amongst giants, students, spiders, and death eaters.  It was a clusterfuck of everything you remember in the past 7 movies.  I was pleasantly surprised with Snape's big reveal as well.  It was little too packaged and slightly out of character, but overall I thought it answered all questions neatly.  No one else could have played slippery Severus Snape as well as Alan Rickman has all these years, and his last moments of grace were his finest.  He kept us guessing until the very end.

I was afraid of two scenes in this movie, (1) the epilogue, and  (2) Harry's sacrifice.  Harry, through looking through Snape's memories, learns that Snape in love with his mother, that Snape was a good man all along, that Dumbledore was more manipulative than he ever thought, and that Harry himself is a horcrux and must die to finally kill all parts of Voldemort's soul.

Radcliff's silent horror and humble stoicism was brilliantly acted.  He collects himself, and begins his humble march towards death.  I've always loved Emma Watson's protrayal of Hermione and her goodbye to Harry was a true testament of the bond they share on screen and as friends in real life.  Ron's look to Harry wasn't quite enough for me.  As best friends shouldn't they nod or shake hands or something?

My tears started falling again as Harry bravely walked to the forest to die for the greater good.  I was thoroughly impressed with the ghosts of his parents and godfather speaking to him before his sacrifice.  "Does it hurt, dying?" Harry asks.  "It's quicker than falling asleep," responded Sirius.  In the past 10 years of growing up, almost all of us have experienced death around us for the first time.  Maybe we're old enough now to realize that we will die one day too.  And Harry's acceptance to live for good and not die afraid might be a lesson we need for the rest of our lives. 

I image that Harry's afterlife will be disputed on levels of beauty to absurdity, but I personally liked it.  It felt quiet and safe.  It felt like a life when you're done with a goal and you're not sure if you're simply done.  

On a side note, I'm really proud of JK Rowling, Yates, and Steve Kloves (screenwriter) for what they did with Dumbledore.  They all really picked apart that stereotype of the honest wise sage into a man with his own greed and strategies.  Dumbledore is a far more complicated man than first thought.  Then again, so is Snape, and Harry's own parents.  Harry too is reckless and moody at times, Ron is selfish and useless way too often, and Hermione can be bratty on more than one occasion.  None of the characters are not perfect heroes, nor should they be.

Voldemort's finale was...odd for me.  He's been played so chillingly by Ralph Fiennes these past few years that I expected nothing less for his ending.  The audience ended up laughing at him for several scenes when he become more crazy in a funny lunatic way than a sadist way.  Nonetheless, his announcement that, "Harry Potter is dead" scared me a little (and the tears came yet again). 

I'm curious what people will take away about the Malfoys.  I've always had a soft spot for the Draco character and had hoped that he would have been redeemed entirely.  The three of them refusing to fight for Voldemort but not fighting against him either shows a strong sense of cowardice that might not sit well with audiences, including myself.  It feels unfinished in a way.  All in all, all three Malfoys played their conflicted parts well, especially Jason Issac's Lucius character, who transformed from proud lord to beaten man.  Maybe it was too late for them to join the light wholeheartedly.

I'm glad that it was Neville that killed the snake.  He wasn't the chosen one, or the boy who lived, he was the everyman who earned the moment of glory due to his own bravery of what is right.  I hope it is seen this way, and not as an tangent of ironic humor.  It ended with action, with humor, with grace, and with friendship, and I can't thank JK Rowling enough for giving me and all of us 13 years of hope and magic.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was the first and only movie I ever saw with my father, with whom I had a rocky relationship.  He passed away in 2006.  I saw the second movie with my mother in a dingy movie theater in San Jose, California, during a matinee and it was the first time I felt older than the kids in the theater.  I saw the third and fourth one in the Bay during high school with various friends.  During that time I formed a tight bond with my friend Rae due largely in part because of lengthy discussion of Harry Potter, Harry Potter fanfiction, and all things British.  I saw the 5th one with her, as well as my new boyfriend (whom I'm still dating).  I was subletting in San Diego during the 6th one and saw it with my boyfriend who pissed me off when he kept checking his texts.  His texter had been broken and somehow during the movie all of his outgoing texts from the past 4 months sent at once--causing many people to text back stuff like, "What?  You're asking what kind of sandwich I want at 1am?".  I tried seeing the 7th one with a few different people but was flaked on time and again.  I didn't see it until last month in this very room and cried my eyes out about Dobby.  And tonight I saw the 8th one at midnight in a packed theater in my new home of San Diego with my boyfriend.  

On a warm summer day at age 13, my childhood began when Vernon Dursely saw people in funny looking cloaks parading around London. I was sitting in my backyard's wooden table near my dad's BBQ and everything seemed possible then.  Tonight at 23 I'm sitting in an office chair in my boyfriend's room.  My college diploma is in a moving bag under the night stand and I'll be looking for my first real job come Monday morning.

And so the end.  Harry, Hermione, and Ron standing on the edge of Hogwarts, looking out towards peace.  I'm glad they did the epilogue, not that I particularly enjoyed it when I read it.  I always felt like it was a cop-out so JK Rowling could point to it and say, "Stop asking me if there's a year 8 or Hogwarts College, I wrote an epilogue 19 years into the future, for Merlin's sake!"  Still, it felt...nice.  Like closure in seeing Harry as a dad.

Magic goes on, Hogwarts goes on, Harry Potter doesn't stay a boy on the edge of school, Harry Potter grows up.  And you know what? it's ok for us to grow up too.

Day 42-- Crispy breezy warm Tuesday

Fledgling plans are starting to nest.  I feel like today is going to be a good day. My jumbo cup of tea still has a few inches to the bottom, my fingernails have traces of Aqua Blue paint from last night's painting project, and Oh Land's "Son of a Gun" is fitting my mood on this crispy breezy warm Tuesday afternoon.

Then again, how can a day ever go wrong when you're wearing a Lady Gaga t-shirt and ASU shorts? 

In the last 24 hours my notebook has been littered by pencil cursive with plans, fears, book ideas, future blog entries [Mashed Red Potato recipe, Two Lime Guacamole recipe, song reviews for "Someone Like You" (Adele) and "Pyro" (Kings of Leon), 7 Things I Wish I Knew Before College/Do Know Now/Still Want to Know, book reviews, ect].   My computer's tabs are nearly full with book publishers in Portland, Oregon, New York, New York, and 1 in San Diego.

So here's where I'm at from yesterday.  I am not ready for a move.  I'm simply not.  I said I would give San Diego 6 months to a year as a training year to figure out what I want to do and to give my relationship a chance to be normal, not to mention myself a year to grow into a professional here where it doesn't matter before a job that does matter.  The reason I've been freaking out is my resume.  I figured that being a shiny new graduate would give me a free pass on my inexperience.  If I wait, then more shiny graduates will be ahead of me in Dec and next May if I still don't have experience by then.

Let me ramble a bit more.

New York -- I'm not a NY girl.  I'm not competitive, I'm not really a city type (I'm a college town type), and it would be such an extreme move that I would want to want it 100% fuck you I'm doing this I'm the best.  I'm not at that level of gusto.  But in a perfect life, being a children's lit editor in New York with Louboutin shoes and doing lunch in the city would be the high life.  I couldn't do it justice yet.

Portland, Oregon-- Portland is a small city in its whole vibe, including its book publishers.  Most of these publishers only have 2 people working them and only put out 1-6 books total, or by special order only. I will never be rich or secure doing publishing in that city.  However, what Portland doesn't have in might, it has who I am.  Trees and coffee shop chats about literature and the world.  There is a wealth of writers in that city.  Poor ones, unfortunately.  But what a fun life to be around that sort of creativity.  Too bad it's so fucking cold most of the year.

San Diego -- I can't say this enough: San Diego is a beautiful city.  The weather is pretty amazing too.  It's a wonderland for perfect vacations.  Unfortunately it only had 1 fiction book publisher and tons of magazines.  This is a culture that hits the beach instead of hitting the books.  And that's ok here.  But I'm not ready to settle into coziness "If all the year were playing holiday/To sport would be as tedious as work" (Henry IV, 1.2. 211-212)

So here is the loose plan

Apply to the internship for the 1 book publisher in San Diego >> apply for a job at a playhouse theater in SD for money and free plays >> if I get the internship it will be over by December >> maybe apply to jobs in Portland and New York by then >> if not, apply for magazine writing internships in San Diego for a few months >> definitely apply to NY and Portland by April next year

Day 41-- Making wishes on the ghosts of dandelions

"So give me the chance/ to prove that I'm the one who can" ~Adele "One and Only

In 4 seconds I can mentally relate a 15-year old jeep as to why I should apply to an internship in Boston. But more on that in a minute. When I'm nervous I tend to ramble. 

Us English majors have been highly trained to find symbolism in everything, connect dots that only vaguely exist, and make it our jobs to find feminism, class struggle, or the loss of innocence (sometimes all three) in just about anything--whether it's really there or not.  Unsurprisingly, in this professional and emotional limbo of my post-grad life I've become something of a personal symbologist, hoping that some sign or way of the wind can tell me what to do in the next few months of my life.

Here's the thing, I have never been a girl of bullying passions. I have always been in the role of thinker, creator, and analyzer, but never the position of dreamer.  I do not know what I want, and that has forever and always been my problem I've managed to hide with good grades, roadtrips, and dessert recipes..

Internships, jobs, career.  What the fuck do I want to do?  Something in book publishing or magazine writing sounds fun.

But I wouldn't have applied for internships in college and I'm still too afraid to apply because of three painful truths: (1) I'm not ready to be brave to move to a new state (2) I'm not sure these jobs are what I want and (3) I don't think my relationship would and should try another long round of long-distance.

I feel as though I linger more than others.  If you look around, people change friend groups, styles, cities, and jobs at whiplash speed.  I stayed at a job I shouldn't have for over four years, I managed a long-distance relationship throughout college, I consider myself friends with people who see me as someone they just hang out with, not to mention that neither Arizona nor San Diego were ever my first choices of places to live but I kept returning to both again and again. Am I stalling here in post-college life, or am I lingering in my own confusion (but with a nice tan)?

I'm beginning to form long views of my life.  What job do I want in 10 years?  Is he who I'm going to be with in 10 years?  Where do I want to live in 10 years?  These questions and questions.  The bf likes to point out that I have nothing but good things to look forward to in the next few weeks: we have a party in two weeks, a concert at the end of the month, I have a style challenge to finish before Day 55 of my blogging, I'm enjoying a current food challenge and new Dessert Sundays....but why do I have this creeping dread that I'm making mistakes in my life plan?  My worst fear to wake up at 40 and be working at CVS.

Long vision.  This puff of smoke playground of the beach isn't me.  Long vision.  I want to be proud of something and of myself.  Long vision.  I want to live in a Pottery Barn house, a passport full of stamps, with a partner who builds me up, with a career that brings me happiness, with a style and a grace of confidence I haven't gained yet.  And maybe a weenie dog.  Long vision.  I need to try.

But back to the 15 year old jeep.  I know a girl whose fierce localism and respect for the old order convinced me she was one of those who proudly lingers.  I never thought she'd actually get her driver's license.  She did 5 months ago.  I never thought she'd leave her neighborhood.  She did 2 months ago.  I never thought she'd save enough to buy her own car.  She did last week.  It's so her.  Cute but tough.  She changed and is moving forward.  Maybe I should to.

And so I'm taking baby steps.  I've been on a few websites this morning and I found that 

Scholastic Books is not offering internships this year but is hosting a number of jobs

Salon Magazine is always offering internships

Penguin House is offering internships

Random House is not offering internships but is offering jobs

Yahoo Shine is something I'm looking into.

I'm scared.  I haven't actually applied yet but I will.  And in the meantime I need to apply to a job here in SD.  (breathe).  (just breathe).

"Give me the chance/ to prove I'm the one who can/walk that mile/until the end times"

Day 40-- Steak with garlic parsley butter recipe

Prologue:

Who doesn't love a good steak? Especially on a Saturday night after a healthy walk and an independent movie.  I'm going to be a snob for a moment and tell you this: when it comes to steak, only buy top sirloin or filet mignon.  I have bought all types of cheaper steaks and no matter what kinds of seasonings, marinades, or sauces I've used, nothing can hide a piss-poor quality.  Bottom line, if you're going to buy steak, buy some motherfucking good steak!  FEAST!

Also, if it's between a small steak and a large steak, buy the small steak.  I've had two different people on two separate occasions criticize that I made them too big of steaks. People like to finish their plates.  Final note: this recipe is inspired by the Steak with Garlic Butter recipe from What to Cook and How to Cook It.  [I've altered it by broiling my meat instead of frying and didn't bother wrapping up the butter]

Steak with Garlic Parsley Butter 

prep time: 5 minutes

cook time: 15 minutes

servings: 2

Ingredients:

2 good quality steaks

2 tablespoons butter

a few leaves of parsley

1 clove of garlic (or less depending on your taste)

salt and pepper 

Directions:

1.) Turn on your oven to boiler to let it heat up.  Get out a cookie sheet or glass bakeware  and line it with aluminum foil.

2.) Chop up your parsley leaves into small pieces.  Get out a small bowl and mix in the parsley, the garlic, butter, and a dash of pepper.  Once mixed up, put into the refrigerator as your meat cooks.

3.) Put your steaks on your cooking pan and sprinkle on some salt and pepper. Place in your oven and check on them periodically for the next 10-15 minutes and cook to your liking.  Personally I like medium-well.

4.) Once your steak is ready, place a dollop of your garlic parsley butter on top of each steak until the butter is partly melted.  Serve immediately.

Review:

So good.  The presentation of a little parsley garlic buttter melting on a steak is a beautiful thing.  I'll admit that it seems to influence the taste very little, but with a tasty cut of steak to begin with, it doesn't matter much.  I paired mine with homemade red potato mashed potatoes and a garden salad.