Pamala Anderson, Gwen Stefani, Russell Brand, and a playboy bunny enter a room...
With 90s house music blaring, The Canadian, The Dietitian, the bf and I got ready for a party up in San Diego. Now, I hate to stereotype, but I've liked just about every hairdresser I've ever met, and Mona, with her vibrant hair, tons of make-up, quick laugh, and warm personality is no exception. Mona is a cousin of one of the neighbors and invited us to her welcome home party for her sailor husband (they're both 24ish, btw).
The theme was a costume party, and if you think that sailors and costumes don't mix, well, stay tuned.
Mona asked my bf to dress up like Russell Brand like he had two Halloweens ago. He still has all of the stuff--skull rings, leather bracelet, black fedora, a black pinstripe suit shirt, plus my on-loan skinny pants and my eye liner. He bought some black spray paint for his long golden hair and done!
The Dietitian was at a loss of what to wear so she looked around her room and found some pink boxers, loose boy jeans, a tank top, wrist warmers, and with some Rite-Aid sticky jewels on her forehead and flat stomach she was Gwen Stefani.
The Canadian has her trucker hat that says CANADA, so with some heels, short shorts, black marker to look like a barbed wire tattoo, a white shirt, and some balloons bought at Rite-Aid with the balloon ties moved to the front to look like nibbles, Pam Anderson was born.
I had been Katy Perry to the bf's Russell Brand, but since they're now divorced it was better to look for a different costume. My sexy book costume from Halloween was too tame, all of the sheets were too long for a toga, and so in the aisles of Rite-Aid I found some bunny ears. In my house I already had heels, fishnets, a blue corset, black short shorts, and some blue nail polish and the playboy bunny look was complete.
We danced around the house as they took shots to pre-party, and we pumped outside around 10 for the ride there. Admittedly we were more than curious how it would turn out. The beach culture and the military culture don't always mix.
And wouldn't you know it, there were about 20 sailors and their girlfriends/wives and only two of them had on costumes. Like I learned in going to a party school, when being outrageous and standing out, do it big and do it sexy. Who the fuck cares? Be the life of the party.
For the most part, everyone was pretty nice. It took awhile to break the ice, but the conversations were mellow once people opened up. There were tons of mixed drinks and techno in the background, plus a fire pit in the backyard.
And I like Mona's husband. He was polite and funny, with a cigarette always dipped in his mouth like a commercial, and a plate of hot dogs he made for all of us.
We stayed until about 1am when the booze was starting to get too heavy. While most of the night was spent chatting with people and casualness, my boyfriend was getting made fun a little too much, and with a slight argument over a pocket knife, and a few too many "faggot"s spewed out (I haven't heard that word since my freshmen year in high school), and it was getting pretty obvious that us in our fake boobs, lingerie, and fedora hat were becoming more out of place.
The general consensuses on the ride home was that it felt really good to get out of our comfort zone and be in a different scene and a different part of town, but with some annoyance and embarrassment that it was a costume party and we were the only ones all dressed up. It's kinda like that scene in Legally Blonde when she shows up for a party and feels like an idiot for being the only one in costume. Like I told them, "You know, I don't really give a fuck. Because I can guarantee you they'll remember us but we won't remember them." The Canadian/Pam Anderson laughed, "You know, I had this guy who came up to me and said, 'For the life of me I can't remember your name but I can't help but stare at your boobs." Isn't it something that even when boobs are egregiously fake that they'll still attract aroused attraction?
And so we were home, and us two rock stars and two porn stars played hacky sack with one of Pam's balloon boobs. A good night.
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