The poet Robert Frost was a favorite in my elementary school, then again in my high school. I used to memorize and recite his poems on Tuesday mornings and to this day I have a wealth of images stored in my brain of snow-covered forest trees and golden dirt pathways through the woods.
Today I'm re-reading his most famous poem, 1916's "The Road Not Taken", which is about a traveler who finds himself at a crossroads in the forest and must make the decision to either walk down the beaten path, or the unused path.
This poem is taught in school as a symbolism of individualism and taking a chance on risk rather than live with mundane expectations. Life, however, is not a binary. And what I'm finding as a post-grad is that there are too many paths, too many opportunity costs, and too much work to reach each one to turn back. I'm rather paralyzed. Here's a fun little chart:
| My top favorite careers | Step 1 | Step 2 | Step 3 | Finish |
| Magazine writer | Write for local papers writing crap I don't want to write, unpaid, to have resume (1 year) | Work for local magazine, unpaid, to have resume (1 year) | Move to SF or NY with an internship, unpaid (summer, longer) | Finally a magazine writer, hopefully paid enough for rent and life (total time ~3-5 years) |
| Editor for a book publishing company | Move to NY and try to get an internship (6 months) | Work as an underling for several years at the company (5-10 years) | Wait for a spot to open up (?) | Finally a book editor. (total time ~7-10 years) |
| Best-selling novelist | Write, write, write (lifetime) | Submit work and hope to be published, hopefully get an agent (lifetime) | Keep writing and hope enough books sell that it can be a career (lifetime) | Never stop writing, hope the sells never stop (total time~ 1year-lifetime) |
| Professor of English and Media | Work for local papers/magazines (1-2 years) | Get an internship and a job down the road. Work there several years to gain reputation (5-15 years) | Go to Grad school and PhD program, still work at mag (6-10 years) | Find a university to teach at. (total time ~ 20-30 years) |
So there you go. Three years to a lifetime of working, waiting. Very unpaid. A probable move to the East and for dubious results. Can you see why I'm stuck?
I have a full page of local papers I'm going to contact tomorrow morning, and another page of theaters in the area I'm going to apply to as part-time work. I also have a local directory of places I can try to work at. I need to get to it. I need to put myself out there doing...something. Frustrated. Discouraged. Must have courage.
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