I don't like my job working at the hotel. And I'm utterly stuck there. In all fairness I really love our guests and what I do isn't especially hard. But (1) my co-workers are rude to me, (2) my bosses never let me leave on time, (3) my paycheck seemed a little thin, (4) I felt like I was threatened to be fired yesterday, (5) my schedule is the absolute worst shifts, but (6) I've only worked there a month which is too long to quit cleanly but too short to start looking for something else.
I can show up in the best of moods but it doesn't help. To go a little more indepth about the shittiness of the job...(1) I work with the ice queens of San Diego. They don't want to talk to me, they don't want to help me, and they disagree with me about everything just to disagree. Oh, then there was that time when we were causally talking about me taking Sundays off from now on (which are utterly dead and they've sent me home early anyway). I explained that I had been hired on for 4 days and have been really grateful for 5, but I really do need that extra day. Plus I never get to spend time with my boyfriend since we work opposite schedules and the whole reason I moved here was for us. The response was a snappy, "I never see my husband." Well shit, girl, take some time off. It's a very discouraging environment to spend 40 hours+ of my week.
(2) If I work with L-- or T-- I will not leave on time. Ever. And look, maybe 7:40 or 11:15 is only 10-15 minutes to them, but when I've already been there for eight and a half hours and I'm tired, hungry, and have plans to be somewhere, yeah, I need to leave. The worst of it is, they make a stink when I say goodbye, like it's wrong to leave.
(3) My paycheck seems a little thin this time. It's probably accurate when I do the math of my hours -minus all the taxes I take out, but for some reason I thought it would be more. I recently cost my company $150 because I didn't call a guest back to tell him we didn't have an extension cord for him to use and he wrote a complaint, so I'm not really in a position to go over my hours bit by bit with the HR lady who wanted to fire me yesterday.
(4) See above for almost being fired because I didn't call someone back. Yes it was a big deal. I'm sorry and I still feel really bad about the whole thing because of how big of deal they made it. I feel like I'm walking around with a mark on my back. It doesn't promote teamwork and it doesn't make it feel welcome. I mean, I'll try harder to deal with the abuse just to keep my job, which fucks me over, but it makes me want to quit a little sooner which fucks them over.
(5) 11am to 7:30pm is the worst shift at the hotel. 11 means I have to leave home by 10:30am. This is late enough to maybe do an errand or two, but most stores don't open at 9 and with the commute it's only really an hour to get something done and not feel stressed about being late. With a 11-7:30 my lunch break time falls right at shift change to my least favorite boss (LFB). If there is an additional person I can go to lunch before she gets there (so around 2:20). However, if there is only one cashier, I'm not leaving until the LFB shows up and is settled enough to let me leave (which isn't until at least 3:30-4), and she always makes a stink with her expressions about me leaving. Needless to say, I never go home on time. She always manages to take her smoke break or extended lunch until 7:40. I tried to talk about this with a sympathetic co-worker who told me to get over it. Luckily my favorite co-worker who I've only worked with twice was there this week and completely 100% bitched about LFB and how inhumane making us late to go home.
(6) I could look for a different job and just leave it off my resume, but then I would have a 4 month gap in my resume. I could leave it on my resume but it looks piss poor to a company to be leaving a job after only a month. I could try to transfer but I don't think they'd want someone still in training. So I'm stuck. I figure that once my internship is over in late October I'll start looking then. By that time my schedule will have opened up and I would have been working my hotel job for going on 4 months.
So that's that. Underpaid, mistreated, discouraged, but employed and too afraid in this economy to quit and possible not find work for too many weeks or months. And look, I understand that a lot of people out there hate their jobs so why the hell do I think I'm so special that I have to work with Care Bear co-workers and lots of sunshine? Because it's right. Because it's fair. Because if I have to be somewhere for 40 hours a week to live my life, I don't want to feel so drained and unhappy that I ruin my life outside of work. Fairness is possible. Maybe I'm an idealist and stupid, but I refuse to settle for unhappy bullshit for the next three decades before I retire and I don't understand why anyone else would.
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