Day 114a--Waking up to you

I woke up this morning nice and late around 10.  Like most mornings when we get the chance, my boyfriend wrapped his arms around me and I carved myself a little bit more in his warmth.  It got me wondering about 2043 when I'm 55 and he's 60.

I don't want my next statement to be misconstrued in anyway of talk of marriage of any sort.  I'm much too far away from financial security let alone maturity and full confidence of my life decisions.  So please take my statement in the same realm of "what if", as in, "what if I was the CEO of Random House?", "what if I learned Spanish and French and traveled the world?".

What if when I'm 55 and my boyfriend's 60 that we're still together, tangled in limbs and warmth in the morning, with grandkids running outside the door?  Will anyone in my generation get that luxury?

I mean that sincerely.  Will any of us make it in a marriage?  Are we too inundated by our divorced parents, our divorced aunts, our divorced uncles, our hook-up culture of flaky girls and asshole guys, and the permutation that there is always someone else out there?  

My grandparents had--well, Grandma still has it--this beautiful rich brown oak bed frame that they owned as long as I've been alive and I'm pretty sure for the past 4 decades.  And I can say for certain that in their 55 years of marriage that they slept next to each other every single night except for the very end with hospital stays.  

As much as I don't care for my step-dad when my mom told me that they sometimes fall asleep holding hands I was forever grateful towards him for giving my mom the chance of love I didn't think she'd get after the misery of divorcing my dad.

I want to have hope for all of us that one day we can be those everlasting people we don't meet very often. I only know a few married couples so far and I honestly, completely, full-fucking-heartedly, wish that they make it for the rest of their lives and I believe that they can.  I really believe in them, I do, and I look up to them as a model for what's possible.

On this typical warm but chilly breeze kind of September day, this is my wish: that when I get married to whomever he is whenever that is, that I will have a marriage that lasts a lifetime. For now though, I'm perfectly happy being offered Frosted Flakes in the morning and rough sex against the door ;)