Day 90-- 6 Things I Accidentally Learned in College

There are many things I was taught in college, but the best wisdom happened by accident.  Here are 7 things I accidentally learned in college.

1.) Be a flake, SPARINGLY

A flake is someone who has options.  In college it's important to be in-demand and a little bit of mystery--much like the dating game--because it increases your options of which party to go to and who to see tonight, as you're known to be unpredictable.  But.  But don't be a constant flake, for it will give you a reputation of being unreliable, which can bite you in the ass for networking and getting help when you need it down the road.  And a little preview: flakes have less friends as they get older.  It becomes harder coordinate free time with people once they have a career and family so if you flake on a hang-out, you might not get another chance for weeks or months. Bottom line: Don't be that pathetic friend waiting at home for a phone call and says yes to everything, but don't be so hard to see that people will simply not bother.

2.) Long-distance relationship and friendships are possible

Fact: The only thing a long-distance friendship needs for it to work is a phone call a piece once every other month.  Just a check-in every month or so to ask what's going on and remind them that you still care.  The underlining trick is that both people need to invest in the relationship, so if you can manage a 20-minute call every two months, you're golden.

On the romantic end, my boyfriend and I lived 5.5 hours away from each other, but by each of us making a trip out one weekend a month and calling at least once a day, we managed to survive all of college.  It's definitely not easy that your person is missing from the events of your life but a day recap and every other weekend immersing in each other's worlds worked for us and was a really cool way to sorta live in two places at once.

Honestly, it's worth it.  Go call your friend!

3.) Death isn't over in one day

My dad passed away my first semester of college on a Sunday night.  That Monday I wore the most grown-up clothes I owned and made arrangements with a funeral director about those details you never think you'd have to decide on like the type of dark oak wood for his casket.

Chances are, in college you will deal with, or will know someone who will deal with death.  What's important to understand is that the grief of the loved one isn't over when the funeral's over.  It's every time you want to call them and you can't.  Every single holiday.  Every birthday.  Looking into the stands and knowing that my dad wasn't there for my college graduation hurt worse than the day he died.  Be gentle on yourself and please please, be understanding towards your friend or roommate or boyfriend/girlfriend dealing with it for years to come.  Sometimes the person just wants to be reflective and nostalgic versus sad.

4.) Cd mixes still make the best presents

The soundtracks of college are always a good choice when it comes to gifts.  They're homemade but cheap.  Perfect for birthdays and Christmas or just random fun.

5.) Facebook is a literary device

One of my favorite things I learned in college was the Panopticon Effect. Jeremy Bentham was an 18th century philosopher and social theorist who designed a prison architecture plan in which the prisoners were under constant surveillance but would never know when they were being watched.  Literary theorist Foucoult predicted that supposed surveillance in prisons and other areas would result in self-discipline.  The Panopticon Effect is widely disputed for its effectiveness.  Some studies show that constant video monitoring results in distrust in those being watched (such as the high schoolers in the Biloxi, Mississippi school district), some evidence like prolonged documentary footage has the subjects ignoring the surveillance after a while, and more studies show that people can being more outrageous when they know someone might be watching--aka facebook.  

6.) Go to Walmart and buy yourself (1) a set of margarita glasses (2) a set of martini glasses (3) a set of beer glasses and (4) a set of mugs and (5) plastic cups.

Hello, party/kick-back/pre-party/study session/roommate night/rager/after-party! Aka, the best purchases I made in college aside from tuition.  P.s. DO NOT buy cheap vodka.  Just don't.  Oh and stay away from Jose Cuervo.  Do make jello shots.  Lots of them. =)